Media Vol. 4, Issue No. 3 — Free Speech, Schmee Speech

Imgur Links
Page 1: http://i.imgur.com/ulm7D3l.jpg
Page 2: http://i.imgur.com/0d3soqw.jpg

 

A new team up top
Week 1 Power Rankings

By @SOCCER SM 10
LGFA Extra Time Reporter
Week 1 of LGFA Season 9 was a wild one, filled with close contests and many one-goal games. There were also a few upsets and a change at the top of the rankings.
Is Hull City now the team to beat after the shocking defeats of Spurs at the hands of Southampton and Crystal Palace? How far will Spurs rise in the attempt to defend their title against the Tigers?
It was a fantastic week, and the second week of games starting Monday should be exciting, as well.
In LGFA, anything can happen. Will the Tigers keep there undefeated streak? Or will Bournemouth suddenly win all their games? Time will tell.

Hull City
Prediction: Champion
Currently: 1st
Started Prediction: 2nd
Reasoning: Moving up a spot in and 5 points clear of the No. 2 in the standings, the Tigers managed 17 goals and 3 against in 6 games.
An impressive start, the only team who held the Tigers to less than 3 points this week was Tottenham. @l Murked l, the goal machine this week, is looking forward to achieving his first golden boot. @EcF Rodriguez, the elegant midfielder, is the brain behind the Tigers. Hull City is giving great key passes to make plays to happen.
The trifecta of CBs, @Pridemaster, @Risxn, @Van der Duke, are shaping up to be the best defensive lineup in LG. Hull will be looking to continue this streak.
Key players
Fwd: @l Murked l, @KinG x NeymaR
Mid: @EcF Rodriguez, @l iSilver l, @Roon l 44 l
Def: @Van der Duke, @Pridemaster, @Risxn
GK: @l Steve McG l, @jesushaxyou

Tottenham
Prediction: 2nd
Currently: 6th
Started prediction: Champion
Reasoning: The Spurs are dropping one spot in the predictions after an upsetting week, starting with a 2-1 loss to Southampton and ending with a 3-1 loss to Crystal Palace. The reigning double trophy winner will have to find a way to regroup and hope the Tigers have a bad week. @NinoRT9 had a tough time this week, while Fatal put on goal-scoring show to help the Spurs win 3 games this week and stay mid-table in the standings. Tottenham was also the only team to prevent the Tigers from going 6-0 in Week 1. @Unlucky Dustin and @Rewind l 7 l will have to step up to help get the Spurs back on track and into title contention.
Key players
Fwd: @Fatal Enjoyment
Mid: @NinoRT9, @IMMORTAL BRUCEY, @Unlucky Dustin, @Rewind l 7 l, @o2DaTruth3o
Def: @lL A lK lE
GK: @Itz Hotpantz

Sunderland
Prediction 3rd
Currently: 5th
Started Prediction: 3rd
Reasoning: The Black Cats had a tough week, losing two games this week, the most embarrassing one a 3-2 decision against Manchester City. @PANDASwAG netted 3 goals in four games, and @DRLFT3R, the Black Cats' hidden gem, matched the 3 goals and added 3 assists. @Bitetto02 this week will be trying to find solutions to move his squad up in the standings.
Key players
Fwd: @PANDASwAG, @DRLFT3R
Mid: @Huether 10, @Bitetto02
Def: @l Vendi l

Southampton
Prediction: 4th
Currently: 2nd
Started Prediction: 6th
Reasoning: Moving up two spots, the Saints are climbing the rankings with an impressive start, beating the Spurs in the opening game of league play and only losing to the Black Cats, 1-0. The Saints will be a threat for the title if they keep this up. @Everest l 42 l and @Texas Tenant are becoming the deadly duo for the Saints. Every team should be worried with these two great players on the ball. @KCNightshade and @zZVizualZz have been lock up the defensive side, and the big man @JimmY x JoneS has been denying forwards taking aim at his net. The Saints are marching in.
Key players
Fwd: @Everest l 42 l
Mid: @zZVizualZz, @Texas Tenant, @Duey912
Def: @KCNightshade
GK: @JimmY x JoneS

Newcastle United
Prediction: 5th
Currently: 4th
Started Prediction: 5th
Reasoning: After the 4-1 defeat to the Tigers, the Magpies regrouped and bounced back with two impressive wins, defeating Arsenal and Watford. @lLainez has made a name as the Magpies' hidden gem, leading in goals for his team and keeping Newcastle in the conversation. He was an excellent pick up by Owner @ToonArmyJabo. A rough week for @Copy of Apollo, allowing 10 goals, means the Magpies will need more from their man between the twigs to keep them in the title race.
Key players
Fwd: @lLainez
Mid: @N0T NiiCE, @ORod80, @Icy Cold Veins, @l M0Ney l, @ToonArmyJabo
Def: @Austin McA
GK: @Copy of Apollo

Arsenal
Prediction: 6th
Currently: 3rd
Started Prediction: 4th

Watford
Prediction: 7th
Currently: 7th
Started Prediction: 8th

Crystal Palace
Prediction: 8th
Currently: 8th
Started Prediction: 7th

Manchester City
Prediction: 9th
Currently: 10th
Started Prediction: 9th

Liverpool
Prediction: 10th
Currently: 9th
Started Prediction: 10th

Manchester United
Prediction 11th
Currently: 11th
Starting Prediction: Dead Last

Bournemouth
Prediction: Dead Last
Currently: Dead Last
Starting Prediction: 11th

After a great Week 1, Week 2 should expand the difference in standings, as five teams, from 3rd place to 7th place, all have 10 points and sit at 3-1-2. Good luck to everyone in Week 2.



Free speech attacked!
"Banhammer" Brisan, BOGs show league what's good

By @nubsy004
LGFA Extra Time Editor/LGFA Access Co-Host
In an unprecedented attack on the First Amendment, a pride of players in the LGFA this week fell victim to the chatbox banhammer, wielded with little restraint by Commissioner @Brisan66 and BOGs @Dunks and @Daddy Marino.
Some of the league's members smacked down included @Dusan Double D, @Aeppli l 3 l, @Turtleurp Zulu and former member @Torched Xans.
"We're all for expression in the chatbox, but personal attacks, alternative facts and just being a dick will get you muted," Brisan said. "Let's leave all the riff raff out and just stick to talking about who is sleeping with who's father. Can we do that, please?"
Aeplli earned his first ban in an exchange with his former owner, @CreepyKlepto. Out of fear of the attack on free speech turning into a silencing of the media, Extra Time is declining to divulge details of the back-and-forth war of words. Extra Time did, however, secure this quote through an encrypted morse code-sent message.
"I reserve the right to call anyone ass whenever I like," Aeppli said. "Did I go overboard? Depends on your definition of overboard, I guess. Either way, Klepto is ass, and Dunks is mean. There's more mutes in this chatbox than at a mime convention! Where's the justice?"
@Dusan Double D wound up getting the Thor-sized banhammer by his own request.
"This chatbox is boring," he said. "Ban me."
Brisan obliged, granting the request by issuing a whopping six-month ban.
"Careful what you ask for," he said. "When you wish upon a star, I ban you long time."
Zulu was a victim of a ban not for a chatbox message, but for using a certain word in the forums directed at the commissioner.
"I was just messing with the guy," Zulu said. "We all know he's all about the vagine, except for when he gets the daddy dick. But everyone gets the daddy dick every once and a while."
Finally, @Torched Xans came out of his cave and took aim at the league in the chatbox, and he was swiftly silenced for a month.
"240 players, what a great turnout," Xans jabbed.
"It's funny, had he signed up for the league we'd have 241 players, which is markedly better," Brisan said. "It's unnecessary for a non-player to come in here and start talking the shit. Once a troll, always a troll."
While many people have been muted, one player in particular, no matter how hard he tries, is failing to get his wish.
"I keep telling these bums to ban me," @Austin McA said. "Just during this week along, the chatbox has given me AIDS, ebola and cancer. My doctors are taking all my money and I can't keep on this path. I need this ban."

SATIRE DISCLOSURE: This article is not serious in nature. If you believe what you have read here, Extra Time and the LGFA relinquish all responsibilities regarding your actions. Carry on.

Buy or Sell

By @Aeppli l 3 l
LGFA Extra Time Reporter
Manchester City being FA cup Contenders: Buy! Buy! Buy! Manchester City started awful in league play, giving up two forfeit victories right off the bat. However, the Citizens have since recovered, and are playing well in both league and cup games. Manchester City is on top of their group in cup standings, and I believe is the dark horse in winning the FA cup.

Hull City's Dominance: Sell! Sell! Sell! Although Hull City has shown complete dominance with no weakness throughout Week 1, I seem to recall a Leverkusen team that dominated the first week of Season 7 and later imploded. Confidence is well-deserved, but as many teams have found out in the past, this is a long season, and getting an ego after one week could cause some major locker issues if a few nights don't go their way.

Arsenal's Season: Yard sale time! After a seemingly good start to the season and sitting in 3rd place, owner CreepyKlepto decided it was in his best interest to sell his team for near nothing! Selling his top three bids in the first week, Arsenal is seemingly trying to finish anywhere but the top 3 in the table. If you have stocks in the Gunners' organization, I'd sell immediately to avoid the sinking ship.

Week 1 Team of the Week

By @Aeppli l 3 l
LGFA Extra Time Reporter
TOTW: 4-1-2-1-2
LS: @l Murked l (Hull City)
RS: @DRLFT3R (Sunderland)
CAM: @Texas Tenant (Southampton)
LM: @NinoRT9 (Spurs)
RM: @U90 l Robben (Watford)
CDM: @HazardOfEden (Arsenal)
LB: @Luizini l5l (Sunderland)
CB: @Risxn (Hull City)
CB: @Van der Duke (Hull City)
RB: @Poptart l 20 l (Hull City)
GK: @z Uh Oh (Watford)
Reserves
ST: @GotaThatchEmAll (Liverpool)
ST: @TheePastorDave (Watford)
MID: @CoLoMBo14 (Liverpool)
MID: @Fatal Enjoyment (Spurs)
DEF: @ODJM Jr x l 3 l (Spurs)
DEF: @LoCoTrAcK5tAr (Watford)
GK: @zMayhemIV (Arsenal)

 

Rodriguez got snubbed

 

Ecf Rodriguez did get snubbed

 

Where's our boy Rodriguez? Texas is trasshhhhhh!

 

Still looking for ECF Rodriguez in the TOTW. dafuq

 

#NotMyCAMTOTW

 

First TOTW! Idk how these are decided by thank you!

 

Sacred pagen ritual involving human sacrifice

 

This post was the definition of perfection, well played Nubsy

 

Murked is the goat

 

Arsenal is ass? Mamba is the foremost expert on ass in LGFA, so I must respect his opinion. Anyone that can lose a game 0 - 13 clearly knows about ass. Keep moving yourself backwards on the pitch so you can make a team, next stop is the bench.

 

@Risxn @ARBRN INFANTRY @Fatal Enjoyment yet the article makes no mention of gk playing strikers smh

 

Arsenal is a bigger ass now