Media Vol. 4, Issue No. 1 — Here We Are

Imgur Link: http://i.imgur.com/JqqAM3L.jpg

 

Ranking teams and owners before bidding
Tottenham favorites to repeat at champions

By @SOCCER SM 10
LGFA Extra Time Reporter
Bidding for Season 9 of the LGFA starts tomorrow, and 14 owners have been finalized for the 5-week slate of league and cup games. The following is a ranking and brief history of teams and owners.

1st - Tottenham
Owner: @NinoRT9
• 2 league titles: Season 2 as management, Season 8 as owner
• 3 FA Cups: Season 4 as management, Season 5 as management, Season 8 as owner
• TOTS Season 2
• Assist leader Season 4
• 2nd season owning
Brief history: One season as a player, five seasons as management. First season owning achieved the double champion taking both titles, will be trying to achieve back to back titles, something never done in LGFA. Always finished top 3. Also hands down the best winger in the league.
Rating: Title Champion, FA CUP Champion

2nd - Hull City
Owner: @SOCCER SM 10
• 1 league title: Season 3 as a player
• 1 FA Cup: Season 5 as a player
• 1 Champions League title: Season 7
• 1 sir Alex Ferguson award: Season 7
• 1 assist leader: Season 6
• 1 TOTS: Season 7
• 3rd season owning
Brief history: Four seasons as a player, returning to ownership this season after taking a break in season 8. Looking to add more silverware. Always finished top 3 as an owner. One of the best Midfielders in the league.
Rating: Title Contender, FA Cup contender

3rd - Sunderland
Owner: @Bitetto02
• 1 league title: Season 6 as a player
• 1 golden boot: Season 6
• 2nd season owning
Brief history: 3rd place in his 1st season as an owner, 4 seasons as a player looking to win his 1st title as an owner. One wonder season as striker, becoming one of the top tier DMs in the league.
Rating: Top 5 in table and title contender, FA Cup contender

4th - Newcastle United
Owner: @ToonArmyJabo
• No titles or awards
• 2nd season owning
Brief history: 4th place in his 1st season as an owner when many thought he wouldn't do well. Strong in 2 seasons as a player before taking ownership, looking to win silverware this season. Solid defensive mid.
Rating: Top 5 in table and title contender, FA Cup contender

5th - Chelsea
Owner: @iMarcelo v12
• 1 Pokal cup: S7
• TOTS: S7
• 4th season owning
Brief history: One season as player. Last season gave up a great team for a broken team, which should earn him a lot of respect, despite the mockery he does in the chatbox. This season, he has the ability to take home some silverware. One of the best outside backs in the league.
Rating: Top 5 in table, FA Cup contender

6th - Arsenal
Owner: @CreepyKlepto
• No titles or cups
• 1 TOTS: Season 8
• 5th season owning
Brief history: One of the most unfortunate owners in the league, always puts a competitive team together and always finishes in the top 6. Solid outside or center back.
Rating: Mid-table, potential Top 5

7th - Manchester United
Owner: @Python x 77
• 1 league title: Season 5
• 1 FA Cup: Season 2
• 1 TOTS: Season 2
• 9th season owning
Brief history: Been an owner every season as one of the first LG players. Average talent in building teams, decent winger.
Rating: Mid-table finish

8th - Southampton
Owner: @nubsy004
• No titles or awards
• 3rd season owning
Brief History: Mid-table finish in last 2 seasons as an owner, 1 season as a player and 1 season as management. Nubsy is is our media guy and a great owner, just unfortunate when it comes down for his players performing. Solid midfielder.
Rating: Mid-table finish, potential Top 5, FA Cup contender

9th - Crystal Palace
Owner: @TIMBORULES
• 1 league title: Season 5 as a player
• 3rd season owning
Brief history: One season as management, 1 season as a player, last 2 seasons finished mid-table as an owner. He will be looking to climb up the standings next season. Solid striker.
Rating: Mid-table

10th - Leicester City
Owner: @SP1DERMONK3Y111
• No titles or awards
• 1st season owning
Brief History: One of the most direct strikers in the league took over a broken team last season, a great step up. Four 4 seasons as a player.
Rating: Mid-table finish because of experience

11th - Watford
Owner: @xJettx
• No titles or awards
• 2nd season owning
Brief history: Last season finished in bottom 4 but had a great core of players who won't give up. He will be climbing up standings this season.
Rating: Bottom 4 to Mid-table, FA Cup contender

12th - Manchester City
Owner: @TuffNut29
• No titles or awards
• 1st season owning
Brief history: Two seasons as player, 1 season as management. One of the decent defensive midfielders in the league now going for ownership, has the potential to move up in the standings.
Rating: Bottom 4 to potential mid table

13th - Liverpool
Owner: @bu11dog91
• 1 league title: Season 8 as a player
• 1 FA Cup: Season 8 as a player
• 1st season owning
Brief history: Three seasons as player, won 1 league and 1 FA cup from the bench last season but will see if he can make a name for himself this season.
Rating: Bottom 4 (I hope you prove me wrong but I am excited to see what kind of a team you put up)

14th - Bournemouth
Owner: @Clancy2113 Jr
• No titles or awards
• 2nd season owning
Brief history: Bottom of the table in his 1st season as an owner, not much activity.
Rating: bottom table

Tidbits from the offseason
All the news we’ve missed since December

By @nubsy004
LGFA Extra Time Editor/LGFA Access Co-Host
It’s been 45 days since anyone has graced the pitch in LGFA competition, and a lot has happened in the month-and-a-half-long offseason. The following is a run down of the more notable events
Cup Parade Disasters
After taking the league title and blasting Liverpool 6-1 in the FA Cup final, a parade was held to celebrate the Spurs’ “expected” hardware.
Owner @NinoRT9 led the parade on top of a double-decker bus. Having some difficulty holding both trophies, video caught Nino dropping the FA Cup, and it was subsequently run over by the bus.
More tragedy struck when GM @lL A lK lE and AGM @Roon l 44 l each had to be hospitalized in thew middle of the parade. Both were reportedly seen showering themselves in champagne, and while their mouths were open, confetti became lodged in their windpipes. Doctors said it was remarkable such a rare injury could affect two people at the same time.
While portions of the parade were rough, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. At the end of the parade line, @Dunks was recognized for winning his third trophy in as many seasons. In honor of his accomplishment, Dunks was awarded a soccer ball made of ice, recognizing him as the best NHL player in the LGFA community.
Staff Elections
Elections were held in the offseason for new staff members, where @NickyLeaks was elected to a Deputy Commissioner post, and @l KaV l was picked for a BoG position. KaV’s election was unanimous, but questions arose about NickyLeaks.
A few weeks after the results were announced, it was determined Nicky lost the popular vote by about 50 members, but because of the weighted electoral powers of the staff’s votes, he was installed anyway.
Since his election, Nicky is focused almost solely on stat entry, devising a plot to come after owners’ pocketbooks if all statistics are not entered in a timely manner.
Opponents have said the plan is unfair to impoverished and working class owners at the bottom of the table, while supporters contend the 1 percent is affected equally.
Bitetto Steps Out
Self-avowed best player and smartest owner in the history of LGFA, @Bitetto02, took to the chatbox a couple weeks before bidding to make his opinions known. A simple disagreement between Bitetto and @zMayhemIV became a full-blown knock down, drag out with @PsychSmokeBBQ.
Mayhem said Drizzy was the best player on Sunderland’s S8 roster, and Bitetto said PandaSwaggggg carried Arsenal all season long. When Mayhem threw up his hands and said he’s done, calling Bitetto an “arrogant ass,” Bitetto responded with, “Learn the difference between arrogance and being correct.” For its originality, the post won Bitetto yet another trophy, “Most Ironic Chatbox BS.”
Psych jumped in to be the voice of reason, but the conversation soon turned to a dick-swinging contest. Bitetto took credit for carrying Germany to a World Cup last summer, imploring Psych to go watch the final, a game in which Bitetto had no goals or assists.
@Austin McA tried to insert himself in the dick-swinging contest, claiming he himself carried Germany when he wasn’t even on the team (Nice try, Austin!).

SATIRE DISCLOSURE: This article is not serious in nature. If you believe what you have read here, Extra Time and the LGFA relinquish all responsibilities regarding your actions. Carry on.

 

MOM! GET THE CAMERA!

 

Ranking teams with no players, gg, never saw it coming.

 

You ready to take Southampton from eighthest to greatest?!?

 

make Southampton greatest again

 

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Fake News.

 

Fake Trump supporter. This man actually has a body pillow of Hillary Clinton.