Please Vote! Final Anti-Award Winners for S44 (ft. All-time award winners, S44 All-Stars, and farewell messages)

*Warning- Incredibly long toilet bowl read. Make sure to periodically stand up to avoid pins and needles*


Important Note: After 22 consecutive seasons in LG since first joining in S22, I will not be playing another season on this current game (due to work and other obligations). I’ll still be around, but won’t be participating in anything and certainly will not be doing any media for a league that I’m not playing in. This hopefully isn’t farewell forever, but I honestly know maybe like three people who’ve stopped playing LG and actually missed it enough to come back. This game and the league as a whole are both in horrific states right now, with zero improvements in sight. Hopefully some brave soul will pick up the Anti-Media for me, but I doubt it. Without further ado, here is the potential final Anti-Awards post. As always, enjoy or don’t, I really don’t care!


*Other warning- If you’re looking for where you’re tagged… Good luck. Guess you’ll have to read it all to figure it out*


More Notes: All-time winners = Red Font, This seasons winners = Yellow Font


Automatic Awards


Anti-Calder/Anti-Presidents


Winner: Cleveland Monsters (@ll REX Il @Grxffon @Justdumpit) [22-53-7, 51 points]


-It seemed as though this team was destined to be a toxic wasteland from day one, and they sure didn’t disappoint.


Jack A. Butterfingers Trophy
[Awarded to the least valuable player on the worst team in the league]


S38- Co-winners: @l Leddy l & @Pope Dave ll

S39- Winner: @o B A L L Y o

S40- Winner: @RemmyDarko

S41- Winner: @Doobs Da Merc 1-21-4, (12 assists), -58

S42- Winner: @Johns l20l

S43- Winner: @MBell91

S44- Winner: @Mr SaWse 4-16-1, (16-16-32 points), -56


-Sawse certainly had an impressively awful campaign for the leagues worst team, but I’m not sure anything will ever top the ridiculousness of Doobs’ S41. Since S41, Doobs has been lighting up the CHL 21-39-4, with 78 points!


EmiLe Francis Trophy
[Worst team in the Eastern Atlantic]


Winner: Rochester Americans (@CLiiNcH @l Sleatz X 19 l @Verathy [31-42-9, 71 points]


-The Americans actually finished with the highest point total of any division winner since I started these in S38, so congrats on making history!


The Broomchump Award
[Worst team in the Eastern North]


Winner: Cleveland Monsters (@ll REX Il @Grxffon @Justdumpit) [22-53-7, 51 points]


-It’s fitting that the final Broomchump winner, would also be the worst in the league. Just like Chef @Broomball16.


Richard F. "Cant"ing Trophy
[Worst team in the Eastern Conference]


Winner: Cleveland Monsters (@ll REX Il @Grxffon @Justdumpit) [22-53-7, 51 points]



Eastern Conference All-Star Team


First Line


LW- @Mr SaWse 4-16-1, (16-16-32 points), -56


C- @Suge I91I 4-15-3, (14-14-28 points), -36


RW- @Ghost I48I 2-16-2, (10-7-17 points), -61


LD- @A Salty SaiIor 5-16-6, (15 assists), -44


RD- @xRoyalFlushx911 4-20-1, (18 assists), -45


G- @Bcrippsx31 13-17-2, .732 SV% and 3.55 GAA


Second Line


LW- @Spiritual x 5-11-4, (18-14-32 points), -25


C- @Virtsak 5-15-0, (15-19-34 points), -51


RW- @Kaprizov 97x 6-11-3, (9-16-25 points), -20


LD- @moocelly 6-17-3, (1-10-11 points), -48


RD- @Dr SNovak 8-17-2, (14 assists), -26


G- @BigDaddyOdin332 6-18-1, .740 SV% and 4.68 GAA


Third Line


LW- @Obiwansz 7-13-2, (20-25-45 points), -21


C- @Brisan x6 6-15-5, (12-20-32 points), -44


RW- @Duchesne_x_10 8-14-3, (20-33-53 points), -41


LD- @booondock88 5-12-3, (11 assists), -19


RD- @AirBullseye23 8-12-3, (9 assists), -13


G- @JAAMx93x 17-12-3, .738SV% and 3.73 GAA


-Congrats to all of our S44 Eastern Conference “All-Stars!”


Sam PoLLock Trophy
[Worst team in the Western Central]


Winner: Tucson Roadrunners (@l0lCorbzzl3l @Jimini x 14) [28-45-9, 65 points]


-This team placed 90 bids on 39 different players during bidding, both of which lead the league… Clearly these guys just didn’t have a plan from the start and this resulted in the final PoLLock Trophy win.


John "No" D. Chick Award
[Worst team in the Western Pacific]


Winner: Ontario Reign (@Mr Space Dad431 @Landamov @xxtrimmyxx) [27-48-7, 61 points]


Robert "No" W. Clarke Trophy
[Worst team in the Western Conference]


Winner: Ontario Reign (@Mr Space Dad431 @Landamov @xxtrimmyxx) [27-48-7, 61 points]


-This season was a massive disappointment all around for the Reign. They were easily the early season favorites for the Anti-Presidents, only to miss the cut by a whooping 10 points… Be better @xxtrimmyxx.


Western Conference All-Star Team


First Line


LW- @ZeRo l92l 5-14-1, (13-11-24 points), -41


C- @Saucerman x3 6-12-2, (9-18-27 points), -20


RW- @Row x 31 4-15-1, (15-20-35 points), -22


LD- @Smitterr 2-14-7, (2-12-14 points), -36


RD- @Volt x 7-15-4, (1-15-16 points), -41


G- @WHEELZakaJAY 17-16-2, .725 SV% and 3.79 GAA


Second Line


LW- @I J x D 81 l 5-15-0, (15-13-28 points), -22


C- @Snaakezy 6-14-2, (18-14-32 points), -16


RW- @Lacky x 91 7-15-5, (21-25-46 points), -28


LD- @Rxchzii 6-15-2, (1-13-14 points), -18


RD- @BullBreed333 7-16-4, (1-22-23 points), -31


G- @Crawford 50x 9-9-2, .726SV% and 3.71 GAA


Third Line


LW- @SwerveWalker 5-11-4, (18-14-32 points), -18


C- @MJKOO7 7-14-1, (25-21-46 points), -35


RW- @MxrteI 7-15-3, (21-29-50 points), -22


LD- @xCENTRULLAx 8-17-2, (3-19-22 points), -22


RD- @John l27l 6-9-5, (2-14-16 points), -21


G- @Elegant Mullet 10-15-5, .746SV% and 3.42 GAA


-Congrats to all of our S44 Western Conference “All-Stars!”


Automatic Individual Awards
(20 GP minimum needed for award consideration)


John B. SoLLenberger Trophy
[Awarded to the forward with the least amount of points on the season]


S38- Winner: @Mike Shea 19 3-17-0, (8-9-17 points, -36 (17 P in 20 GP)

S39- Winner: @Cross x l92l (30 P in 23 GP)

S40- Winner: @LEBRONT0 (20 P in 21 GP)

S41- Winner: @fighta18 (25 P in 21 GP)

S42- Winner: @Colonel20 (23 P in 23 GP)

S43- Co-Winners: @Godon17 & @aimNclu7ch (22 P in 20 GP for both)

S44- Winner: @Ghost I48I 2-16-2, (10-7-17 points), -61 (17 P in 20 GP)


-The Ghost of Mike Shea has returned six seasons later to win the SoLLenberger with the same number of games played. Ghost clearly had the more miserable season all around, but the point total is all that matters here, so they’ve got a tie for the all-time best SoLLenberger season.


Anti-Rocket Award
[Awarded to the player who scored the fewest goals in the regular season]


S38- Winner: @Mike Shea 19 (8 G in 20 GP)

S39- Winner: @SophisticatedX (6 G in 24 GP)

S40- Winner: @LEBRONT0 (9 G in 21 GP)

S41- Winner: @BADxLARRY (8 G in 23 GP)

S42- Winner: @ I OHBEE I (5 goals in 28 GP)

S43- Winner: @Jcfox x 92 (6 goals in 24 GP)

S44- Co-Winners: @Dxmba (9 goals in 27 GP) @GonzoArmstrong (9 goals in 25 GP) @Saucerman x3 (9 goals in 20 GP) @Kaprizov 97x (9 goals in 20 GP)


-A four-way tie for the Anti-Rocket is extremely impressive, but not quite as impressive as the incredible five goals scored in 28 games played by Ohbee in S42.


Harry "Unhappy" Holmes Memorial Award
[Awarded to the goalie who allowed the most goals during the regular season]


S38- Winner: @SmiTTy x 12 (164 GA in 51 GP)

S39- Winner: @FLEET GOD (195 GA in 53 GP)

S40- Winner: @FalconeFlame (190 GA in 47 GP)

S41- Winner: @Rittich x 33 (173 GA in 48 GP)

S42- Winner: @I Eden l (171 GA in 54 GP)

S43- Winner: @Albxrt92 (154 GA in 45 GP)

S44- Winner: @iCLuTcH x BeasT (roch) (205 GA in 53 GP)


-On a game in which goalies have been having significantly better numbers than in recent years, it was shocking to see the all-time Unhappy Holmes winner end up being this seasons winner. Very Clutch, Mr. Beast!


Bossy's Nominated Awards


UseLes Cunningham Award
[Awarded to the league's least valuable player]


S38- Winner: @Pope Dave ll

S39- Winner: @o B A L L Y o

S40- Winner: @LEBRONT0

S41- Winner: @Doobs Da Merc 1-21-4, (12 assists), -58

S42- Co-Winners: @Brisan x6 & @l Modano l

S43- Winner: @iNooch

S44- Winner: @Smitterr 2-14-7, (2-12-14 points), -36


-If only Smitterr had continued with his winless pace from the first four weeks, and he may have competed with Doobs’ truly historic season. Clearly Doobs is the all-time UseLes Cunningham winner.


Eddie I'm Not "Shore" You're A Dman Award
[Awarded to the AHL's worst defenseman]


S38- Winner: @Druwei

S39- Winner: @o B A L L Y o

S40- Winner: @Trey x93

S41- Winner: @Doobs Da Merc 1-21-4, (12 assists), -58

S42- Winner: @l Modano l

S43- Winner: @iNooch

S44- Winner: @Smitterr 2-14-7, (2-12-14 points), -36


-I’m still not Shore that any of these guys were actually dmen. Congrats to @Doobs Da Merc for really cleaning up on the all-time Anti-Award wins.


Aldedge "Bad" Bastien Memorial Award
[Awarded to the league's worst goalie]


S38- Winner: @Aerotonic

S39- Winner: @wadesworld2112 3-20-1, .683 SV% and 4.81 GAA

S40- Winner: @IXI Ein IXI

S41- Winner: @LLcoolSam5855

S42- Winner: @defgrav06

S43- Winner: @Medusa l37l

S44- Winner: @WHEELZakaJAY 17-16-2, .725 SV% and 3.79 GAA


-As I said previously, goalie numbers have been up across the board and Wheelz easily had the least horrific “Bad” Bastien Award season. Wade had a lot of stiff competition, but he was the clear cut all-time leader here.


Nail Yakupov Award a.k.a. Anti-Datsyuk Award
[Awarded to the forward who least excels in the defensive aspects of the game]


S38- Winner: @Chunx (132 GA in 27 GP)

S39- Winner: @xl staal 18 lx (127 GA in 25 GP)

S40- Winner: @StompZzzz (120 GA in 28 GP)

S41- Winner: @Sportsxx (137 GA in 27 GP)

S42- Winner: @Johns l20l (128 GA in 24 GP)

S43- Co-Winners: @Lacky x 91 & @BouKariya27 (115 GA in 24 GP)

S44- Winner: @OhSoCountry (123 GA in 27 GP)


-OhSo playing forward means you don’t need to play defense right? Clearly these guys all believe this to be true. Congrats to Sports on being the all-time Anti-Datsyuk winner.


Anti-Fred T. Hunt Memorial Trophy
[Awarded to the player who exhibited the lowest levels of sportsmanship and ungentlemanly conduct, combined with a low standard of playing ability]


S38- Winner: @P t P 10

S39- Co-winners: @LongRodRon @AoN x CLUTCH @l KaV l @Tonezky and @Weavss

S40- Winner: @Raymond l23l

S41- Winner: @AP Nope

S42- Winner: @TheBuschBoss *Used statistical format due to no exciting bans

S43- Co-Winners: @Hullzeh @HTH94 @JJr & @TINO45REAPER

S44- Winner: @Sedin i33i


-Hughes took a cap ban due to conduct unbecoming. I don’t even know the specifics of the ban. Some combo of being a crybaby loser after being traded away from Chicago and then refusing to leave their locker room while not on the team during an LG game night… Only surprise here is that it took this long for Hughes to catch a ban. PtP as the all-time winner here pretty much goes without saying.


The "Dud" Red Garrett Memorial Award
[Awarded to the least outstanding AHL rookie]


S38- Winner: @nhlNJDevil00

S39- Winner: @o B A L L Y o 2-19-0, (1-8-9 points), -63

S40- Winner: @FleshEatingAlien

S41- Winner: @fighta18

S42- Winner: @Trey I67I

S43- Winner: @ImPugginAround

S44- Winner: @Ghost I48I 2-16-2, (10-7-17 points), -61


-Ghost has really cleaned up in the Anti-Awards this season, but I have to give the all-time nod to Bally… Who has shamelessly not returned to LG since his “Dud” S39.


The Mike Milbury Award
[Awarded to the least outstanding management team in the regular season]


S38- Winners: @l Leddy l & @Pope Dave ll

S39- Winners: @All Worried @Democide1984 & @LukeScheff

S40- Winners: @I Clavette I & @SkilZzy x92x

S41- Winners: @Darthyyyy & @twilightx57x

S42- Winners: @Nelson Yankee88 @Yeah I Ate It & @Yzerman Returns

S43- Winners: @MBell91 @Floweri30i & @x Loops 19 x

S44- Winners: @ll REX Il @Grxffon @Justdumpit


-Cleveland certainly had an incredible season, but it really doesn’t even compare to most of the winners on this list. The clear all-time Milbury winner comes from season 39. For those who don’t recall, these guys were “NHL” managers (if you wanted to call them that) who basically torched their own NHL team, and had their AHL team disbanded (the AHL team was literally removed completely and forfeit the final 3 weeks of the season)… Teams like this sure should make everyone glad that the NHL and AHL are no longer connected.


Charmin Soft Award
[Awarded to the skater with the fewest number of hits on the season]


S40- Winner: @No1xDraft PcK (6 hits in 25 GP)

S41- Winner: @Obiwansz (1 hit in 25 GP)

S42- Co-Winners: @SUNFLO 91 & @Sham x 19 (4 hits in 28 GP for each)

S43- Winner: @Fruit Whoops (3 hits in 24 GP)

S44- Winner: @Obiwansz (cle) (1 hit in 22 GP)


-Obiwansz has made it clear that he isn’t capable of using The Force to hit people. This two-time Charmin Soft winner automatically takes home the all-time title here.


Bob Stewart Award
[Awarded to the player with the worst +/-. Named after the player with the worst +/- in NHL history at -257 for his career]


S40- Winner: @lMiller9l (-54 in 18 GP)

S41- Winner: @Sportsxx (-68 in 27 GP)

S42- Winner: @Johns l20l (-58 in 24 GP)

S43- Winner: @MBell91 (-59 in 22 GP)

S44- Winner: @Ghost I48I (-61 in 20 GP)


-Ghost may not have had the worst overall +/-, but he’s the only one to have exceeded a -3 +/- per game, so I’ve got to give the all-time Bob Stewart nod to Ghost.


The Black Hole Award
[Awarded to the skater who's been on the ice for the fewest goals scored for his team during the regular season]


S40- Winner: @RemmyDarko (40 GF in 21 GP)

S41- Winner: @fighta18 (42 GF in 21 GP)

S42- Winner: @l Modano l (41 GF in 24 GP)

S43- Winner: @MBell91 (40 GF in 22 GP)

S44- Winner: @Ghost I48I (28 GF in 20 GP)


-Another all-time award win for Ghost, this time with a much more glaring victory for the all-time Black Hole Award winner.


The LG Hates You Award
[Awarded to the player with the lowest overall ranking given to them by LG]


S40- Winner: @ele905 (37 LG Rank)

S41- Winner: @fighta18 (32 LG Rank)

S42- Winner: @Colonel20 (34 LG Rank)

S43- Winner: @MBell91 (34 LG Rank)

S44- Winner: @Ghost I48I (29 LG Rank)


-LG Hates You (and well all of us really), but they likely don’t hate you guys as much as your own teammates did. Once again, Ghost is the clear all-time winner here!


The You Kind of Deserved Better, but Really Don't Because You Still Stink Award
[Awarded to the player who least deserved to be in their shitty situation, but who still kind of deserved it]


S40- Winner: @cup4blues 27-24-4, .781 SV% and 2.84 GAA

S41- Winner: @private D0NUT

S42- Winner: @K11LA K

S43- Winner: @Chainer IV

S44- Winner: @Black Paperclip 15-9-4, (28-48-76 points), -6


-Paperclip was stuck on a 5m contract on Ontario for the entire season. It’s tough to get worse than that… Unless your name is Cuppy Blue. Cup was in net for 83% of his teams’ points in the standings and he broke his back trying to carry @WiizardOfBoz. Cup still stinks though, so this makes Cup the clear all-time winner here.


The Give it Away Award
[Awarded to the player with the most giveaways on the season]


S41: Winner: @KnifeVet22 (418 GA in 27 GP)

S42- Winner: @Juul In You (393 GA in 27 GP)

S43- Winner: @DekeoIogist (361 GA in 22 GP)

S44- Winner: @BaduIov (404 in 27 GP)


-Badulov came so close to dethroning orignal Give Away Winner, Snakevet, but came up just short of the all-time win.


Congrats, You Can Click Up Award
[Awarded to the player who has the biggest differential between goals and assists on the season]


S42- Winner: @xVrana (61G - 35A = 26)

S43- Winner: @Clamonttt (44G - 19A= 25)

S44- Co-Winners: @Pelley_ (48G-25A= 23) @xBowieee (41G-18A= 23)


-Congrats to Bowie and Pelley on being amongst the best at clicking up this season, however, Vrana maintains the all-time victory.


Clicking Up Is Hard Award
[Awarded to the forward who has the biggest differential between assists and goals on the season]


S43- Winner: @Jcfox x 92 (57A -6G= 51)

S44- Winner: @RY0NN (60A-25G= 35)


-Ryonn really never stood a chance at competing with Jc here. I don’t think any forward will ever come close to touching his Clicking Up Is Hard award.


Recent Former NHLer Most Likely To Be Toxic For Having an Anti-Award Worthy Season Award
[Awarded to whichever shitty recent former NHLer I feel like giving an award to] *Only awarded for the first season after rosters were wiped


S43- Winner: @BLuuRy_sPh


The deathstwr99 Award
[Awarded to the worst player with a stupid random letter in place of a vowel]


S43- Winner: @Hxrdie-

S44- Winner: @sxdz l93l (syr) 6-12-5, (39-23-62 points), -9


-Congrats so sedz, sidz, sudz, sadz, sodz or sometimes even sydz for being the second best weirdo to @deathstwr99!


I’m Just Here to Look Ugly Award
[Awarded to the goalie who won the least amount of games on the season]


S43- Co-Winners: @SlowGazzelle & @TRMC BIGMAC (8 wins in 28 GP for Gazzelle and in 23 GP for BigMac)

S44- Winner: @ChAsInG budZzZ (5 wins in 25 GP)


-Chasing budz clearly beats out the Co-bums from last season for the all-time Ugly Award win!


I figured I’d end this incredibly long farewell thread with some shoutouts to some people I’ve met here at LG (everyone gets a meme or a song that reminds me of them!). I can’t possibly tag everyone, so just if you were missed.


-Let’s start off by thanking every toxic Frenchie in LG (you know who you are). Just remember that time you were humbled by Ricky Bobby, and be better next time. Thank you!





-@LG McDonald: I’ve been here for 22 seasons, and you’ve truly needed one of these since Day 1… You’re welcome!




-@Tris10: “Price Tag” says it all really. It’s clearly all about the money (and an “Esport” that stands no chance of growing further than it currently is). Why update a shitty site for the first time since 2005, when you can just have everyone join a shitty Discord instead?


https://youtu.be/qMxX-QOV9tI


-@aCanadianGamer: https://youtu.be/jYa1eI1hpDE why you gotta be so mean, ACG? Such a bully, but I get it, you’re just miserable. I’ll truly “Miss the Misery.”


https://youtu.be/YpJAmlnBxoA


-@Broomball16: I better get a massive discount to your Michelin Star Lasagna restaurant!





-@l Doughty l: Congrats on being the biggest Madonna song in LG!


https://youtu.be/s__rX_WL100


-@KnifeVet22: Good luck with Little Tornader, the obvious inspiration behind this song! Also relevant to you blowing away the rest of the AHL and making people like the next @ cry a bunch.


https://youtu.be/pJgoHgpsb9I


-@Eamonn: Eamonn Timberlake… That is all!


https://youtu.be/DksSPZTZES0


-@Williams x12x: I’ll see you on RL.





-To all the goalies. You are still not people. Stop being almost as weird as those people with random consonants in their names!!





-@Schwifty7: The league doesn’t deserve you, but we’re going to need the LG Media GOAT ASAP (but mostly just Jackbox and Marbles tbh)!





-@deathstwr99: Undisputed actual GOAT!





-Special thanks to my Cup winning managers and teammates @l1l Sharp l0l @Lebang 58 @MiDi l97l@KnifeVet22 x2 @McPluggles @Cizikas x 53 @Dabaws l24l @l1lxCooPxl9l @TaWClavy @AO l24l x2 @MarcQC101 @aCanadianGamer @cabcavlax1 @TyrantOfSicily @cup4blues @PitcheRxSwaGx@Donald_9997 @PietrangeIo @Flames I18I @wardssyyy @Chainer IV @Fluffy I37I @Alex Rylo @l Brown x l19l @Prod 61 @l Saucy x 17 l @toastycheezit @xHigginson03 @King Natzu, and last, but certainly not least, @TRMC BIGMAC!


-Thanks to all of my former management partners, players (the non-toxic ones) and of course my OG pals from S22. I’d tag them all, but basically none of them exist on the site anymore, except for @deathstwr99. Love you!


Note: As always, if anyone here is offended by anything. I encourage you to go back to school and learn the definition of satire.





​

 

Damn first Schwifty retiring now Bossy. End of an era!

 

classic

 

Tay is Bae.

Bossys alright too I guess

 

@l Bossy l x 22 is

You will be missed bud. Maybe one day EA will invest similar money/time into NHL like they do FIFA and you’ll want to come back to LG!

 

I thought we were besties can't believe i wasn't included

 

He missed you just like you missed all the breakouts in week 1!

 

That’s what I get for being in the AHL for 2 weeks….Oh well, at least my CHL stats this season were good. Lol

 

you will be miss

im really going to miss your media

 

Who will fill the gaping hole left behind by @l Bossy l x 22

 

Good thing they stuck with you all season. Really worked out in their favor!

 

IM NOT LAST

 

1. NO GOAT! deathstwr99 = Jesus = cup check
2. GOAT? @B4NKS

 

Oh
3. I cant read
Sorry , eh

 

Remember, nobody is allowed to ever change their stance on anything ever.

 

I’m only one Man, I did my best to carry

 

Cya next szn

 

finally! me and spiritual x on a line together again (I asked my GM to get him probably like 30 times)

 

The best in the bizzzz!

 

Nice media see you in S46!