Imgur links Page 1: http://i.imgur.com/1IFEIKM.jpg Page 2: http://i.imgur.com/RswTH6T.jpg Page 3: http://i.imgur.com/jXqB7p7.jpg League winners celebrate in style Different strokes for different folks at end of season By @nubsy004 LGFA Extra Time Editor/LGFA Access Co-Host Timbers players are coming down from a long week of partying after Portland won two of the possible three trophies in LGFA this season. The celebrations started out with a locker room party, where General Manager @Duey912 provided the Michelob and @Cuauhtemoc l 10 brought 12 pounds of guacamole. "We had a huge guac fight, then showered off by spraying the Michelob everywhere," Duey said. "@Soul Sully didn't really approve of us destroying the locker room, but fuck him. We had fun." Celebrations continued with a parade through the heart of Portland, with Duey double fisting the MLS Cup and the Supporter's Shield and screaming, "YEEEAAAAHHHHHH." "This man is stupid," said @I M0NEY l, who finally won a trophy after being Judased out of a double last season. "I know he's excited to get the double, but damn, can't he just let me hold one of them?" Skipping some of the organized celebrations, @Belbum, @H Blazed and Ballon d'Or winner @Risxn took a different approach. "I think we smoked all the weed and drank all the home-brewed beer in all of Portland," Risxn said. "Good weed, bad weed, good beer, bad beer, didn't matter. We consumed it all. Blazed still hasn't woken up from a nap he started two days ago." Another trophy winner heard about the Portland bud and showed up to get some of his own — US Open Cup winner @Unlucky Dustin. "I heard they had some of that good good, so I dipped from the boring NYCFC party and caught the red eye to Portland," Dustin said. "I just couldn't take any more of Evooo vF's lame ass dance party. The only fun person there was Dunks. He kept pantsing people while they dancing. I could watch @l Murked l fall over a million times and it will still be funny." Other individual award winners did their own kinds of partying. Rookie of the Year @MJ23 x Cash got some major attention at a Las Vegas strip club, although things went south when the women realized how young he was…damn rookie. Beckenbauer winner @Sokratis x 25 didn't do much partying, but he did get a new job as a warden in a federal prison. "I locked up so many people on the pitch I was a shoe in for the job here at Allenwood United States Penitentiary," he said. "I got too many chains to know what to do with." Golden Boot winner @xWDx VOLZ hasn't been seen since the end of the season. Sources say he's been holed up under a staircase in his house, constantly shining his hardware. @Bitetto02, who won the playmaker award, is too depressed to party. "How the hell did I get the playmaker award but I'm not an All Star?" he asked. "Who the hell does these awards? They should be fired." SATIRE DISCLOSURE: This article is not serious in nature. If you believe what you have read here, Extra Time and the LGFA relinquish all responsibilities regarding your actions. Carry on.