Media Vol. 6, Issue No. 2 — Held Hostage in Mile High

Discussion in 'Leaguegaming FIFA Association (LGFA)' started by nubsy004, Jun 25, 2017.

  1. nubsy004

    nubsy004 LGFA Xbox League Director — LGFA Extra Time Editor Staff Member LGFA Staff

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    Week 2 Power Rankings

    By @Duey912
    LGFA Extra Time Reporter

    1. New York City FC (+5)
    Looks like the random assignments have shown favoritism New York's way, as @qlves (assist leader) has shown FC how to pass, followed by @Unlucky Dustin and @Evooo vF in the midfield. Dustin must’ve taken @l murked l to the dojo, as he is not far off from returning to golden boot. Running a 4-3-3 holding, they seem to find themselves scoring a lot and allowing only 6 goals this season, but only 1 clean sheet. Availability looks to be the only downside to this team so far after a strong week 1 showing.

    2. Sporting Kansas City (-1)
    Golden Boot @eLeX Lazer is back and looking to hold on to his golden boots, as he leads the league with 9 goals of the teams 17. This team's attack is something fierce with 42 shots on target, which averages out to 6 a game. Looks like team availability is also an issue here seeing how some of the main stars from earlier in the games this week failed to show up towards the end of the week. If they want to move up in the rankings they will have to work something out.

    3. Portland Timbers (-)
    The Timbers are a defensive powerhouse this season with a league leading 3 clean sheets and 5 goals allowed after the first week. @Belgian l 15, @Nick l 5 l, and @H Blazed have stepped up to make sure this team stays in games. A new formation change has shown the team to be better and more productive. The attack will have to work together better and capitalize on the chances they receive, or Portland could find themselves constantly drawing games.

    4. New York Red Bulls (+6)
    Apologies for placing this team in dead last, for they have proven themselves to be one of the better teams in this league. Panda has shown to be a leader in the attack, while @Sokratis 25 has shown to be a leader on the back line. Allowing 7 goals on a very defensive 4-2-3-1 could be the difference between winning and losing games. Hopefully, they can keep up the good work through the following weeks.

    5. DC United (+2)
    Very average team so far. Having an even goal differential, they don’t know if the problem is the attack or defense. Having a league leading 5 one-goal games this season is saying this team could have a lot more points than they have right now. Ignition69 is holding it down with a league leading 31 tackles, but could use a map when passing the ball to his teammates. The shots taken this season by DC have been very low percentage shots, as the front three have 30 shots and 3 goals (10% conversion rate). They’ll have to work the ball up the field for better chances instead of taking rando shots if they want to move out of the middle.

    6. Columbus Crew (-2)
    Failure to win the big games this season has moved this team down the rankings, and if they don’t find some sort of chemistry quick, they might not be heading back up anytime soon. Not putting half your stats in, I cant say too much about this team, but with the striker duo of @Unlucky Diggs and @Tofske, the goal production should be more vast.

    7. Chicago Fire (+1)
    This team would be higher on this list after winning 3 games in a row, but unfortunately, the Fire has suffered a stroke in management and is looking to regroup. Owner Jlane, GM Auzillio and AGM Airborne have been booted off the team and issued multi-season bans (RIP World Cup). Cant say much since the stats are absent, so this team will have a lot of work or they will be at the bottom of the table if not folded by then.

    8. Philadelphia Union (-6)
    A dramatic shock from preseason, @Ruckus Buck is shaking his head wondering what went wrong with his team, scoring only 7 goals in 6 games. The offense will either need a surge in the attack, or the defense will have to finds it lockdown core from preseason If they want to pull out of this slump.

    9. Colorado Rapids (-)
    Going absolutely nowhere relying on the hopes of two players carrying the team — Beckenbauer @Austin McA and @l Money I, back to back TOTS winner. Missing Sunday's games lead to two L’s without a fight or stroke in the offense. Moneybags has proven this team can not do anything without him holding their hand, scoring 0 goals on Sunday games and scoring 6 the other 2 days. There hasn’t been a goal scored that didn’t come off this mans foot. Time to rename the team to LG Money BackBreakers.

    10. New England Revolution (-5)
    Starting from mid table, "now we are where" is what owner @EricE30 is saying to himself after a decent start in preseason. Having one of the worst defenses in LG history allowing over 3 goals a game for a total of 20 goals allowed this season. The only good thing a bout this team is that they found the back of the net 12 times. A good attack from @Trae Del Rey and @Bitetto02 (Bittetits) won't be enough unless some drastic changes are made.

    PSN LGFA players attack Xbox league
    Funny controller users run off after stats discovered

    By @nubsy004
    LGFA Extra Time Editor/LGFA Access Co-Host

    Earlier this week, some people got lost.
    A handful of PSN LGFAers found their way to the Xbox LGFA chatbox and began berating the players of the larger league for "sucking so bad."
    "You guys really need some help scoring over here," said @Rantallion34, owner of PSN Philadelphia Union on Monday before games. "I mean, the league leader only had 3 goals. What kind of non-shooting, non-scoring bums are over here anyway? Ya'll should buy Playstations so I can show you how it's done."
    Rantallion's teammate vGoHawks496 went even harder in the chat than his owner.
    "What a bunch of pussies," he said. "No one over here is any good at FIFA, and the Playstation side would roll the Xbox side easily. I don't even know why you guys have a league, you suck so bad."
    Yet another Philly defender, @alonzi401, chimed in with his own attempted chirp.
    "No one on Xbox knows how to play defense at all," he said. "As a Beckenbauer winner, I can show all of you the way."
    An anonymous source apologized to the Xbox players for his Playstation guys' lack of judgement.
    "I can't control these hoodlums," the man in the shadows said. "You guys think this is bad, imagine what it's actually like in the PSN all the time."
    Unfortunately for the PSN trolls, stats don't lie, and as soon as theirs came out, retreat back to the Sony sewers was their only option. Rantallion, playing mostly center back, is 5-1-3 on the season with 79 percent passing and only 11 tackles. GoHawks, a journeyman on the field for the Union, is 10-2-4 with 4 assists, 78 percent passing and 21 tackles. Finally, Alonzi comes in with a 9-1-4 record, 2 assists, 76 percent passing and 11 tackles.
    "These guys are all Beckenbauer quality," said @Austin McA, S10 Beckenbauer winner on Xbox who in 4 games played already has 23 tackles. "I can't believe these guys came in here thinking they were hot shit. PSN would beat Xbox? Please. Apparently, we could just walk around these guys with how few tackles they have."
    There was one positive out of the onslaught, though, as Austin was able to turn the embarrassment into a teaching moment.
    "Once calmer heads prevailed, we had a fine conversation in the PSN chat," he said. "Turns out these guys didn't know you could turn off auto-switching as any. So, I ended up teaching them something. Best of luck in their future endeavors. Maybe I'll buy a Playstation so I can go over there and bag some easy awards."

    2 Former TOTS held captive in Mile High Hell

    By @JaysWayss
    LGFA Extra Time Reporter

    Various officials and some of our own banana news operatives have confirmed today that two Special Agents, l Moneybags l and Austin McMegged, are being held behind enemy lines against their will.
    These men willingly accepted their difficult, almost suicidal assignment with all enthusiasm, but sadly, they have failed shortly after the operation began.
    Extensive negotiations are under way for their release, possibly for the exchange of their counterpart operatives.
    The ruthless dictator of the Mile High City has not given word as to what his demands are, and seems to be stalling for time. There are reports that screams can be heard from where the two captives are believed to be held.
    At this very moment, they could be under serious distress and suffering from mental breakdowns. Smalls notes from these men are smuggled out of the Mile High Fortress, expressing the thoughts of the two captives.
    "There is no way I can get TOTS this season, especially because clean sheets matter for CBs," McMegged explained.
    Moneybags seems to be in the best position.
    "If I do well enough, at least I can get back-to-back-to-back TOTS," he said.
    Both men have expressed in serious and vulgar detail just how much this place “Sucks ass” and how sometimes they would rather “catch that 2-season hammer”. The negotiations, spearheaded by the rash and sometimes coarse leader of Portland, have slowed to a standstill. This may be due to his strange vocabulary (See Season 10 end of season Extra Time for details).
    In an attempt to push through trade deals, he has resorted to his world renowned charisma and persuasion.
    Full transcripts are not available at this time, but some snippets have been recovered. Let us hope that the convincing words of “Just do it pu**y” and “Stop being a F@g” are enough to send these soldiers home.

    Week 1 TOTW

    By @JaysWayss and @Duey912
    LGFA Extra Time Reporters


    Formation: 3-5-2
    LS: @eLeX Lazer
    RS: @So Savage x
    CAM: @I Money l
    RM: @qlves
    LM: @Unlucky Dustin
    DM: @Duey 912
    DM: @JaysWayss
    LCB: @Belgian l 15
    CB: @H Blazed
    RCB: @Sokratis x 25
    Gk: @Risxn

    Reserves
    ST: @l Murked l
    MID: @Igniti0n69
    MID: @iExecute Panda
    MID: @Sully l 11
    DEF: @Nick l 5 l (ecf Verane)
    DEF: @Cobra624
    GK: @Dushi
     
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  2. Sokratis x 25

    Sokratis x 25 Well-Known Member Manager

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    Nice read!
     
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  3. Risxn

    Risxn Well-Known Member

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    easy game easy life. Get my Week 2 TOTW ready oh and my Golden Glove. thanks
     
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  4. KCNightshade

    KCNightshade LGFA's Peter Vermes LGFA Owner

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    #JeSuisMoney #JeSuisAustin
     
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  5. KCNightshade

    KCNightshade LGFA's Peter Vermes LGFA Owner

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    Pls don't let @Lykuso score on you again. Thx.
     
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  6. Risxn

    Risxn Well-Known Member

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    im looking for your GT on TOTW. i cant seem to find it
     
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  7. My mom sister

    My mom sister Active Member

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    I'm not even on the team of the week. What a joke.
     
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  8. KCNightshade

    KCNightshade LGFA's Peter Vermes LGFA Owner

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    God dammit @nubber
     
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  9. Risxn

    Risxn Well-Known Member

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    get it ready nubber
     
  10. EricE30

    EricE30 ------- LGFA Owner Media Team

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    I saw you make some nice saves.
     
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  11. Igniti0n69

    Igniti0n69 New Member

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    that's funny, but clearances counting as a missed pass isn't my fault :p
     
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  12. Fatal Enjoyment

    Fatal Enjoyment Active Member Media Team Manager

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    I see you nubsy, i make these cards and you give those bums credit @nubsy004 *eyes*
     
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  13. nubsy004

    nubsy004 LGFA Xbox League Director — LGFA Extra Time Editor Staff Member LGFA Staff

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    You right. I'll fix it next issue.
     
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  14. nubsy004

    nubsy004 LGFA Xbox League Director — LGFA Extra Time Editor Staff Member LGFA Staff

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    Blame @JaysWayss and @Duey912. I had no hand in TOTW
     
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  15. Duey912

    Duey912 Well-Known Member

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    Get better!
     
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  16. JaysWayss

    JaysWayss Chat Shit Get Banged Staff Member Platinum

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    Try getting more clean sheets mmmk
     
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