31 Thoughts - A Team by Team Review in 3 Sentences or Less - Part Deux

Discussion in 'Leaguegaming Hockey League (LGHL PSN)' started by OdessaSteps, Nov 19, 2017.

  1. OdessaSteps

    OdessaSteps I'm still your dad

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    :team31:Anaheim Ducks

    I feel like all these guys really need is to have their english tutor show up to one of their games and coach like a period and a half because Ray is awol and then Ray will show up blowing a duck call whistle, super annoying-like and the players will roll their eyes but ultimately will bring them all back together as a unit to win the gold medal over Iceland but not before an unprecedented mid-game uniform change. You're two points out of a divisional playoff spot, you dumb cunts, stop acting like the world is ending.

    :team28:Arizona Coyotes

    Finally, the yotes bring in a true pornographic hero to save the day. Mes is the answer to everyone's problems and I wish he was a Golden Knight, if only for the sexual advances he makes. The Zonagoats are still right in the mix but can they string together some W's to make it happen?

    :team2:Boston Bruins

    Bunch of choking pussies only tied for first place in their division with a measly 61 points. Get your shit together, Dom. Jackie, please send videos of your brother playing COD.

    :team18:Buffalo Sabres

    Buffalo making moves, clearly gearing up for next season. One of the dumbest things they could have done, trading their first round pick, was mercifully corrected by acquiring the PHI 1st, which is basically the same lottery pick.

    :team29:Calgary Flames

    Last time, I predicted that the flames would heat up and they did for a minute. But what's old saying, something about the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long? That 12, count it 12, game losing streak in Week 2 and 3 ultimately will be why this season went to shit.

    :team74:Carolina Hurricanes

    Small step back for what is still, in my opinion a very underrated team. The role players fell back to earth a little bit but this season is still going to be considered a huge success for Raz and the boys.

    :team75:Chicago Blackhawks

    The Chicago Scoothawks are still as dangerous as ever, despite a five game skid recently. Weather they take action or stand pat at the deadline, this team is poised to compete for the President's Trophy.

    :team8:Colorado Avalanche

    Beefy is either crazy or a genius but one thing's for sure, he's definitely not afraid to make major shake ups if he believes it will help his team. Waives Spors to make room for Nardo. Moves Nardo for Grimrock. Nav and the boys still killing it, unless they're up against Matthuot, who is apparently unbeatable (according to Matthuot).

    :team6:Columbus Blue Jackets

    Why does it feel like they've lost more games than they have? Team is in first place in the metro yet there's a feeling around them like it could unravel at any second. Kind of hope they dig in because a CBJ/BOS or CBJ/DET conference final would be very interesting to watch.

    :team9:Dallas Stars

    Say what you want about Chief but he loses one of his top forwards for nothing and replaces him without skipping a beat. But don't worry, everyone, he's still as emo as ever.

    :team10:Detroit Red Wings

    Rough patch over, team is definitely legit. Someone told me that Baris is a good forward and there's a rumor out there that Devin isn't even playing, it's just Baris on his account. Look for him to switch to LW full time next season and confirm the rumors to be true.

    :team11:Edmonton Oilers

    Just keep not forfeiting. That's as much as anyone can ask for the rest of the season. I caught up with B-Bunny to interview him about his big trade:
    [​IMG]


    :team23:Florida Primeklines

    Sleep well, sweet Mamba. You did a horrible job in bidding, you did your best to adjust and it ended up being just too much. Welcome back to the wonderful world of management, Nick, may the Panthers be feared, starting next season.

    :team76:Los Angeles Kings

    Look at these fuckers and their will to survive. GJ to illy and the boys for keeping their nose to the grindstone and out of the basement. You're a team I secretly (not so secret anymore, I guess)like but would definitely be easier to root for you if you weren't in the Pacific.

    :team30:Minnesota Wild

    All due success unto HJ. While I believe there are many good players and a few factors that play into the resurgence of the Wild, you are the glue that binds them all together.

    :team5:Montreal Canadiens

    An easy, gradual path was carved to the top of the Atlantic for Montreal before this season began. So... what exactly happened here?

    :team77:Nashville Predators

    Here's a quick recap of the Predator's Season: Cancer, Cancer, EVERYTHING IS GREAT!, Cancer, Cancer, Enter QC, EVERYTHING IS GREAT!, Cancer.

    :team7:New Jersey Devils

    By no means are they out of the race and some subtle changes this past week might prove to be very beneficial for them. Six points out of a wild card right now, with a lot of road left.

    :team27:New York Islanders

    Remember when I said once they start to score, you'd be in trouble? Look out. Still blame Sparty for the losses.

    :team12:New York Rangers

    Have the Rangers gotten a little taller or is it just my imagination? Basically, the entire team is different from the last time I checked in. But is it better, worse or more of the same?

    :team20:Ottawa Senators

    Tight race in the east and if the Sens have a lot of home games, you can basically just pencil them into a playoff spot right now. One point out of the Wildcard, 3 points out of a divisional spot.

    :team4:Philadelphia Flyers

    And just as quickly as he arrived, Matty A was gone. What a fucking shit show this has been. I'll admit it, I was wrong, really thought they'd be better.

    :team78:Pittsburgh Penguins

    Slow start all but been erased. Sedin power and the qc pens looking real sharp. You know he means business if he's willing to trade Mes.

    :team15:San Jose Sharks

    Here's a team that have quietly just been doing their thing and picking up W's. Will be a very tough playoff opponent in any series they find themselves in. Great sophomore season for Rad as Owner.

    :team3:St. Louis Blues

    I feel like no one should be surprised by where the Blues are at, especially in a division as tough as the central. Q:How the fuck do you make up a 13 point deficit a week out of the deadline? A: You don't, re-tool for next season and don't FF any late season games.

    :team21:Tampa Bay Lightning

    I can't get a read on these guys. They're good, they're bad, they're good, they're bad. Seem to have a revolving door at forward, how many different guys came and went this season?

    :team1:Toronto Maple Leafs

    52 points in 45 games under new ownership. Last season, Leafs had 61 points after 82. Big difference in the Atlantic this season under the new faces.

    :team17:Vancouver Canucks

    Still a criminally underrated roster at forward with some nice changes done at D over the last little while. Little win streak and things will get very interesting in the Pacific, as if they already weren't.

    :team676:Vegas Golden Knights

    Still with the coke. Still with the Celine. Still with the winning.

    :team14:Washington Capitals

    Maddens and the boys in a tight race and keeping things close in the Metro. One point out of the Wildcard and a mere 9 points out of first place. Next Sunday might be very interesting for the caps.

    :team391:Winnipeg Jets

    You can't believe all of the rumours but word on the street is that the majority of this roster got sick with polskaids. Jonez went and got himself banned on two consoles and Deadsoul has a huge hole he's gonna have to dig out of.

    Until next time, dummies.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2017
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  2. Prochx9

    Prochx9 Well-Known Member

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    Jacks Brother on Cod >>>
     
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  3. The_0verthinker_

    The_0verthinker_ Well-Known Member

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    Why isn't there something like: "Now that the Flames :team29: traded for Mustacho, their season will be saved" ?
     
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  4. meka DVA meka

    meka DVA meka Bring Load Management To LG

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  5. OdessaSteps

    OdessaSteps I'm still your dad

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    Baris + Devin = BBW4
     
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  6. JPHVeNoM

    JPHVeNoM Well-Known Member

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    2 of mtls first round picks down 1 to go
     
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  7. Serpe x 13

    Serpe x 13 Washed Up Center

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    no mention?
     
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  8. vOutragEz

    vOutragEz Well-Known Member

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    trust the process lol
     
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  9. Anttzy-

    Anttzy- Well-Known Member

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    Who’s Headshot again? He was on my team?
     
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  10. IllVIBEZIll

    IllVIBEZIll Well-Known Member

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    Nashville Predators recap made me laugh out loud IRL. Bingo. The fact we've held it together and have made a half way respectable season of it so far is nothing short of remarkable.
     
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