Please Vote! S40 Anti-Award Winners

Introducing your Season 40 Anti-Award winners and runner-ups. Congrats to everyone. I'd say good luck in the playoffs, but pretty much none of you are in them... So I guess I'll hopefully see you all for more misery next season!

Automatic Awards

Anti-Calder/Anti-Presidents

Winner: San Jose Barracuda
(@Pogs & @Master Sh0tgun)
[26-51-5, 57 points]

- The LG Barracuda might actually be more sad than this scene from Finding Nemo. I'm positive quite a few Barracuda players shed some tears this season, and I'm not just talking about the losers crying about getting banned.

Jack A. Butterfingers Trophy
[Awarded to the least valuable player on the worst team in the league]

Winner: @RemmyDarko
(2-15-4 with 30 points, -39)

Runner-up: @Trey x93
(4-21-1 with 18 points, -49)
- Surely Remmy and Trey are two of those players who shed some tears on the Cuda this season. If they so desire, they can share this trophy and can cry into it together.

EmiLe Francis Trophy
[Worst team in the Eastern Atlantic]

Winner: Charlotte Checkers
(@Johns l20l & @MasterAmerica)
[23-46-13, 59 points]

- As someone who personally spent far too long on the Checkers this season... Allow me to describe to you the significance of some of these Checker emojis.

Top Left: The sheer amazement when you somehow actually win a game.

Top Middle: The unparalleled anger of losing games by a score of 19-5 or 14-2.

Top Right: The feeling of being stuck on Charlotte.

2nd Row from Top: The feeling you get anytime @Johns l20l touches the puck.

3rd Row from Top (left): The warm fuzzy feeling you got from the season finally being over.

3rd Row from Top (middle): The look you have when "EA gives the other team a bounce, but never yours."

Middle Middle: The absolute state of confusion everytime the dman or Johns tosses an absolute pizza to the other team.

The Broomchump Award
[Worst team in the Eastern North]

Winner: Hartford Wolf Pack
(@Caza Bombay @Dradle Jay II & @Sir Shacklet0n)
[30-43-12, 69 points]
- At least the Wolfpack finished with 69 points.

Richard F. "Cant"ing Trophy
[Worst team in the Eastern Conference]

Winner: Charlotte Checkers
- Duh.

Sam PoLLock Trophy
[Worst team in the Western Central]

Winner: Iowa Wild
(@I Lappy I)
[24-48-10, 58 points]

- The Wild probably should've just tried this method considering their season was chalked before it even started.

John "No" D. Chick Award
[Worst team in the Western Pacific]

Winner: San Jose Barracuda
- Duh x2

Robert "No" W. Clarke Trophy
[Worst team in the Western Conference]

Winner: San Jose Barracuda
- Duh x3

Automatic Individual Awards
(20 GP minimum needed for award consideration)

John B. SoLLenberger Trophy
[Awarded to the forward with the least amount of points on the season]

Winner: @LEBRONT0
(20 points in 21 GP)

- The real Lebron might do just as well as this guy, if he attempted to play hockey, but we all know he's too much of a crybaby to ever attempt that.

Runner-up: @xDemon12x
(30 points in 25 GP)

- Demon clearly needs some Gfuel to help figure his shit out, if that's even possible.

Anti-Rocket Award
[Awarded to the forward who scored the fewest goals in the regular season]

Winner- @LEBRONT0
(9 goals in 21 GP)
- We've all had enough of Lebron already.

Runner-up: @Dauntless x 29
(10 goals in 22 GP)

- With such a low goal total, it might be safe to assume that this guy is actually blind, so that certainly makes him exceedingly brave.

Harry "Unhappy" Holmes Memorial Award
[Awarded to the goalie who allowed the most goals during the regular season]

Winner: @FalconeFlame
(190 GA in 47 GP)

- Falcone got to stare at 30 more pucks getting behind him than any other goalie in the league... That's insanely impressive.

Runner-up: @cup4blues
(160 GA in 54 GP)
- Cup's backpack wasn't big enough for the shitty Crunch.

Bossy's Nominated Awards

UseLes Cunningham Award
[Awarded to the league's least valuable player]

Winner: @LEBRONT0
(8-7-6 with 20 points, -21)
- There were certainly players with worse records than Lebron... All of which were on bottom of the barrel teams. In Lebron's case, he ended up being one of the absolute biggest wastes of a free contract that I've ever seen and was a huge factor in Bridgeport not making the playoffs.

Runner-up: @Swayman l1I
(3-12-3 with .753SV% and 3.62 GAA)
- A free contract goalie appearing in just 3 of his teams 33 wins is quite honestly one of the most impressive feats I've ever seen in LG. Swayman would've been the slam dunk winner, if not for Lebum.


Eddie I'm Not "Shore" You're A Dman Award
[Awarded to the AHL's worst defenseman]

Winner: @Trey x93
(4-21-1 with 18 points, -49)
- Nobody really stood much of a chance at passing Trey for the Anti-Shore award. He's had this on lock since my first post in week four.

Runner-up: @Eagles9412
(5-14-4 with 12 points, -36)
- At least Eagles gets to look forward to his namesake getting smacked by Tom Brady in the playoffs.


Aldedge "Bad" Bastien Memorial Award
[Awarded to the league's worst goalie]

Winner: @IXI Ein IXI
(9-15-3 with .701SV% and 3.92 GAA)
- You know you've had an impressively brutal season when your save percentage is over 30 points higher than the dude who finished in second. Tough.

Runner-up: @WHEELZakaJAY
(10-9-1 with .733SV% and 3.66 GAA)
- Pretty impressive to spend almost half your season in the NHL and still finish runner up for an AHL Anti-Award... Good shit.


Nail Yakupov Award a.k.a. Anti-Datsyuk Award
[Awarded to the forward who least excels in the defensive aspects of the game]

Winner: @StompZzzz
(120 GA in 28 GP)
- It surely can't be a coincidence that the Anti-Datsyuk and Unhappy Holmes winners came from the same shitty team. I wonder who's more at fault?

Runner-up: @Perplex Deific
(110 GA in 26 GP)
- Playing defense must be an extremely perplexing concept for this man!


Anti-Fred T. Hunt Memorial Trophy
[Awarded to the player who exhibited the lowest levels of sportsmanship and ungentlemanly conduct, combined with a low standard of playing ability]

Winner: @Raymond l23l
- The weirdo of many tags broke the CoC and was given a two season ban... He then proceeded to make threatening remarks towards staff members and was then given a site ban... Yikes.

Honorable Mentions: @xI STR8iNK Ix @Gerbe x 42 @Stayy Sideways & @Ennis x 63
- Raymond (a.k.a. Hicketts) kicked off a slew of bans for the Scumbagcuda. Gerbe, Sideways and Str8ink all got banned for breaking the CoC, and Ennis followed them out the door shortly thereafter due to not wanting to deal with the mess that he helped create.

The "Dud" Red Garrett Memorial Award
[Awarded to the least outstanding AHL rookie]

Winner: @PeskyBugbear
(5-12-3 with 36 points, -40)
- It's definitely tough for your rookie season to be with the lowly Checkers... Almost as tough as averaging a -2 +/- per game.

Runner-up: @PickySaturn03
(6-19-2 with 14 points, -36)
- There are two things that are worse than this dudes rookie season. 1.) PeskyBugbear's rookie season, and .2) Both of their gamertags. Rookie mistakes.


The Mike Milbury Award [Awarded to the least outstanding management team in the regular season]

Winner: Minnesota Wild (@UnreaIz- @SkilZzy x92x)
- These guys torched their AHL team before the season even started, and failed to make the NHL playoffs due to a forfeit on the final night of the season. Certainly "Unrealz."

Runner-up: @LG McDonald and the BOGs
- For continually allowing this to happen and giving zero repercussions to the NHL managers who destroy their own AHL team before the season even starts.

Honorable mention: Charlotte Checkers (@OOF Medic @MasterAmerica)
- Gotta give an honorable mention to the biggest self-imposed disaster in the AHL this season. Sorry, not sorry.


New Awards

Charmin Soft Award [Awarded to the skater with the fewest number of hits on the season]

Winner: @No1xDraft PcK
(6 hits in 25 GP)
- No. 1 draft pick is clearly a first round bust when it comes to the hit department. Maybe his right stick is broken. Only logical explanation here.

Runner-up: @Sansky
(8 hits in 20 GP)
- I'm just going to assume that this rookie is just afraid to hit people.


Bob Stewart Award [Awarded to the player with the worst +/-. Named after the player with the worst +/- in NHL history at -257 for his career]

Winner: @lMiller9l
(-54 in 18 GP)
- Miller forces me to break my own rule and give an award to someone who played fewer than 20 games... Well worth it for someone who averaged a -3 +/- per game. Yikes.

Runner-up: @Trey x93
(-49 in 26 GP)
- I'm also tired of Trey.

The Black Hole Award [Awarded to the skater who's been on the ice for the fewest goals scored for his team during the regular season]

Winner: @RemmyDarko
(40 GF in 21 GP)
- It's unbelievably tough for a forward to average less than two goals a game for his entire team.

Runner-up: @Terrier4581
(42 GF in 21 GP)
- Terrier is a dman, so the lack of goals isn't necessarily his fault... But I'm still going to blame him anyway.


The LG Hates You Award [Awarded to the player with the lowest overall ranking given to them by LG]

Winner: @ele905
(37 overall ranking, 7-14-4 with 36 points, -35)
- I'm not entirely sure what ele did to be two points lower than the four co-runner-ups since they all had similarly horrific seasons... Clearly LG just hates ele the most.

Co-runner-ups: @HEROxIDENTITY @DEC3PTIVE 1 @Dauntless x 29 & @LEBRONT0
(39 overall ranking, all had miserable stats)
- Congrats on your equally awful seasons!


New New Award

The You Kind of Deserved Better, but Really Don't Because You Still Stink Award [Awarded to the player who least deserved to be in their shitty situation, but who still kind of deserved it]

Winner: @cup4blues
(27-24-4 with .781 SV% and 2.84 GAA)
- Cuppy Blue played for the lowly Syracuse Crunch and backstopped them for 27 out of their 32 wins (84%), but he still stinks.

Runner-up: @Jcfox x 12
(17-8-1 with 54 points, +16)
- This is probably the most Wild (no pun intended) seasons that I've ever seen. I have literally never heard of this guy, but he somehow had 17 wins and over 2 PPG while playing the entire season for the Iowa Wild. Insane, I almost feel bad.


Final notes: All I've heard all season is about how trash the AHL is now, so congrats to all of you on building shitty teams. @BartIettt @Peck l87l @Lup l7l @Mild Spice @JuoIevi @l KhaaN l @UtiIeCupid @Fullsend3174@LEBRONT0 @At43 @MBell91 @Johns l20l @MasterAmerica @Eamonn @oBonez x @WeddingJUN@Baker I22I @LE SOlGNEUR @LeChacal Ark @Dugzz l67l @Filppulaz @BeviMerchant @Josh55777@VintageTrav @v FrosTiC @Darthy WRLD @xxTOXICDRIFTxx5 @Volt x @Dradle Jay II @Sir Shacklet0n@Caza Bombay @Tolerant @l Flobes l @Fialah @Spacelessbark @Rubber McDucky @OG Mr ProdiGy@I Lappy I @l xMavaria l @EL D 18 @AwaKe Magic @BigPaulerBrand @Saucerman x3 @Sham x 19@SQUADCAV16 @Persinger92 @I Splinter77 I @Swayman l1I @SievE30 @XxCARTERX17 @QC Ping@Dad of Five 81 @Vahey x 19 @Fly I25I @RY0NN @quatch02 @Kovitar @twilightx57x @GrittySaves@Fleury l8l @Krxider @Velnoo @xFalsexHopex @I Risto I @Pogs @Master Sh0tgun @iFarmerFran@kibberts77 @FalconeFlame @Obiwansz @LukeScheff @BozWPG @cabcavlax1 @GRITTY 16@l1lWhitel9l @Suge I91I @Dip City Don @Ducky x6 @m3x1cAn NiNjA @Laporshkin @Drover2@MetalGhost0 @Draward x 97 @KeepYourChinUp @Gentkos @vBxnditt @I Kessel x 81 l @RiCo505

 

First time I read that concept of the anti-award, brilliant. Idk how long it took you but I guess it’s fun roasting people for free and having stats to back your awards. With that being said, good job to the AHL Community for being such good sport, no one trashtalking back or being pissy about it. Thanks for the media

 

Wait we’re allowed to hit?…

 

Damn I can't even suck enough to make this list.

***retires***

 

I voted for Coachella =O