Toxic Tuesday’s #1 - The Shitter Bowl

TOXIC TUESDAYS!!!

This is something I want to start to have a little bit of “troll” media for fun throughout the season. Don’t take it to heart, it’s all for fun!

*If anyone is interested in helping out the media team with funding for advertising and whatnot, DM me please, sorry if that’s not allowed Sekski*



The Shitter Bowl

For the first Toxic Tuesdays media post, we’re going over the worst teams since season 25 (the last 2 2K’s). I hand chose the shittiest teams from each season, adjusted their stats to a 36 game season, threw in what I thought would be their game 5 lineups, stat leaders and all stats. Obviously these are from different 2K games, but this is all for fun, so we’re going to go off the basis that they are only running their game 5 lineups and they are all playing the same game. One thing to note, is obviously some of these roster players didn’t play much which led to their team’s lack of success, but I don’t care and I’m just assuming these lines are showing up.

All the aforementioned can be found in the spreadsheet at this link. No clue if this will be a hyperlink or not, if it isn’t you can copy and paste into your browser. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1l2TLbDme2nUUin621Ab7NZOdubB9MeRy7QFrjTm1nhM/edit?usp=sharing

So I ranked the 10 teams based on their game 5 lineups in a playoff style format. The S28 Nets having the best lineup, whereas the S28 had the worst for reference. The S28 that folded and the S25 Knicks both missed out on the playoffs, because they were the shittiest of the shit, nothing else to it. The remaining 8 teams would faceoff in a bracket like this. Who will be the best group of shitters? Keep reading to find out!

Round 1

S28 Nets vs S28 Lakers

3-0 Knicks, it’s not even close. Rick drops 35 and 10 on 41% shooting (shooting well because he is sober in this series), flems drops 6 ppg from the hash, Berry pouts because he is on yet another shit show, snag spends the game on discord, process isn’t 6 mill so he isn’t underperforming.

S27 Nugs vs S27 Cavs

Despite the Cavs 1-35 record here, handouts actually shows up for the boys and leads them to getting swept still. He alone can’t carry the onslaught of the mighty S27 Nugs. Ching (tee) has a great series, averaging 15 points and 3.5 steals and Kobi puts up a nice 25 and 9. Nugs in 3!

S29 Lakers vs S25 76ers

This is our upset of the first round. Munnie loads up on the broadcast five out from the hash and takes a giant dump on Denham in game 5. They cant find an answer for the rim running and Witt falls short, getting full barred on a wide open corner 3 in transition to win the game. Ayz proceeds to utter some not so friendly French insults towards his teammates and leaves the part abruptly.

S29 Supersonics vs S25 Raps

3-1 Lakers. Murked and Dangs spend most of the games fighting, but Timmy and Beardo combine for 36 boards and 9 blocks in game 1, causing the Supersonics to kick it into overdrive and win the next 3 easily. xMecciah averages 52 and 14 from the hash but it isn’t enough.

Round 2

S28 Nets vs S25 76ers

Nets in 3 again here, Berry cries so much it results in a literal flood, again Rick is playing sober and shoots a scary 39% averaging 32 and 11. Snag has a career series as he is muted from all 2K discords and is forced to focus on the game.

S27 Nugs vs S29 Supersonics

Ching (Jig) has another great series here. Transitions to PG for some unknown reason and unleashes hell after kicking Kobi to the 2. Ctwicee and Rams steal a game but ultimately fall short as Will Swankerlain mashes all over LOOS3.

Finals

S28 Nets vs S27 Nugs

Controversy starts early in this series for both teams. Dangs threatens to play NHL over the finals, Rick is so drunk he’s pissing himself. What this turns into is Rick dropping 40 and 20 getting them to game 5, but then “lags out” headed into the game. No response is heard from Rick, but he was spotted at multiple bars in Nashville at this point time, but claims it to be his dopelganger (Eddie Lacy). Ching (Spam) loads up for game 5, hungry for a championship, but flems unleashes his 2k20 PG skills, carrying the Nets to a game 5 victory. Berry is seen smiling ear to ear, hard as a rock as he finally wins in a draft league. Skizzo finally loses in a final. All is well in LGBA. The Nets are the SHITTER BOWL CHAMPIONS!

Voting for awards for the shitter bowl will be posted in polls in the media discord!

*If anyone is interested in helping out the media team with funding for advertising and whatnot, DM me please, sorry if that’s not allowed Sekski*

 

only a L due to typos