Leaguegaming - Your Virtual Career

# User Gamertag Discord Primary Position How many nights a week can you play? (on average) Questions or Comments
1 Tink-Show Tink-Show Left Defense 4
2 AAli-21 AAli-21 AAli-21#2461 Right Wing 3
3 cup4blues cup4blues cup4blues#5216 Goalie 1
4 PlayBoiCenterSG- PlayBoiCenterSG- playboicentersg#0 Center All
5 Dxwny Dxwny wavynana_84923#0 Left Defense 5 153, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings But I'm only going to get this one chance (Six minutes, six minutes) Something's wrong, I can feel it (Six minutes, six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on) Just a feeling I've got Like something's about to happen But I don't know what If that means, what I think it means, we're in trouble Big trouble. And if he is as bananas as you say I'm not taking any chances You are just what the doc ordered I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box? They said I rap like a robot, so call me rap-bot But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes I got a laptop in my back pocket My pen'll go off when I half-cock it Got a fat knot from that rap profit Made a living and a killing off it Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office With Monica Lewinski feeling on his nutsack I'm an MC still as honest But as rude and as indecent as all hell Syllables, skill-a-holic (Kill 'em all with) This flippity, dippity-hippity hip-hop You don't really wanna get into a pissing match With this rappity-rap Packing a mack in the back of the Ac backpack rap, crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack and at the exact same time I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicing that I'll still be able to break a motherfuckin' table Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half Only realized it was ironic I was signed to Aftermath after the fact How could I not blow? All I do is drop "F" bombs Feel my wrath of attack Rappers are having a rough time period Here's a maxi pad It's actually disastrously bad For the wack while I'm masterfully constructing this masterpiece yeah 'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box? Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard Everybody want the key and the secret to rap Immortality like I have got Well, to be truthful the blueprint's Simply rage and youthful exuberance Everybody loves to root for a nuisance Hit the Earth like an asteroid Did nothing but shoot for the moon since (PPEEYOOM) MCs get taken to school with this music 'Cause I use it as a vehicle to 'bust a rhyme' Now I lead a new school full of students Me? I'm a product of Rakim Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac, N.W.A., Cube, hey, Doc, Ren Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim Inspired enough to one day grow up Blow up and be in a position To meet Run-D.M.C. and induct them Into the motherfuckin' Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame even though I walk in the church And burst in a ball of flames Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in is the alcohol of fame On the wall of shame You fags think it's all a game 'Til I walk a flock of flames Off a plank and Tell me what in the fuck are you thinking? Little gay-looking boy So gay I can barely say it with a 'straight' face, looking boy You're witnessing a mass-occur like you're watching a church gathering take place, looking boy Oy vey, that boy's gay That's all they say, looking boy You get a thumbs up, pat on the back And a "way to go" from your label every day, looking boy Hey, looking boy, what d'you say, looking boy? I get a "hell yeah" from Dre, looking boy I'mma work for everything I have Never asked nobody for shit Get outta my face, looking boy Basically boy you're never gonna be capable of keeping up with the same pace, looking boy, 'cause I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod The way I'm racing around the track, call me Nascar, Nascar Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard So you'll be Thor and I'll be Odin You rodent, I'm omnipotent Let off then I'm reloading Immediately with these bombs I'm totin' And I should not be woken I'm the walking dead But I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating But I got your mom deep throating I'm out my Ramen Noodle We have nothing in common, poodle I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself In the arm and pay homage, pupil It's me My honesty's brutal But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize What I do though for good At least once in a while so I wanna make sure Somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle Enough rhymes to Maybe try to help get some people through tough times But I gotta keep a few punchlines Just in case 'cause even you unsigned Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime I know there was a time where once I Was king of the underground But I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind So I crunch rhymes But sometimes when you combine Appeal with the skin color of mine You get too big and here they come trying to Censor you like that one line I said On "I'm Back" from the Mathers LP One when I tried to say I'll take seven kids from Columbine Put 'em all in a line Add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine See if I get away with it now That I ain't as big as I was, but I'm Morphin' into an immortal coming through the portal You're stuck in a time warp from two thousand four though And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for You're pointless as Rapunzel With fucking cornrows You write normal? Fuck being normal And I just bought a new ray gun from the future Just to come and shoot ya Like when Fabulous made Ray J mad 'Cause Fab said he looked like a fag At Mayweather's pad singin' to a man While he play piano Man, oh man, that was the 24/7 special On the cable channel So Ray J went straight to the radio station the very next day "Hey, Fab, I'mma kill you" Lyrics coming at you with supersonic speed, (JJ Fad) Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you? I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated I make elevating music You make elevator music "Oh, he's too mainstream." Well, that's what they do When they get jealous, they confuse it "It's not hip-hop, it's pop." 'Cause I found a hella way to fuse it With rock, shock rap with Doc Throw on "Lose Yourself" and make 'em lose it "I don't know how to make songs like that. I don't know what words to use." Let me know when it occurs to you While I'm ripping any one of these verses that versus you It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurtin' you How many verses I gotta murder to Prove that if you were half as nice, your songs you could sacrifice virgins to Unghh, school flunky, pill junky But look at the accolades these skills brung me Full of myself, but still hungry I bully myself 'cause I make me do what I put my mind to When I'm a million leagues above you Ill when I speak in tongues But it's still tongue-in-cheek, fuck you I'm drunk. So, Satan, take the fucking wheel I'm asleep in the front seat Bumping Heavy D and the Boyz Still "Chunky, but Funky" But in my head there's something I can feel tugging and struggling Angels fight with devils and Here's what they want from me They're asking me to eliminate some of the women hate But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred I had Then you may be a little patient and more sympathetic to the situation And understand the discrimination But fuck it Life's handing you lemons Make lemonade then But if I can't batter the women How the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then? Don't mistake him for Satan It's a fatal mistake if you think I need to be overseas And take a vacation to trip a broad And make her fall on her face and Don't be a retard, be a king? Think not Why be a king when you can be a God? Submit Corrections Thanks to CMPunkSES72, Ryan McMullen, Matthew B, Alex Pearce, Zack for correcting these lyrics. Play "Rap God" on Amazon Music KB
6 JaYBeLLo_XXIII JaYBeLLo_XXIII Right Wing All
7 Vrain91 Vrain91 Vrain91#6806 Goalie 4
8 VtecThunder88 vtecthunder88#0 I'm+interested+in+being+an+AGM+or+a+GM+for+a+team+if+possible+
9 pittpensfan76 pittpensfan76 Can't+play+Thursday+nights
10 Pandaleupagus VapeLordTiger pandaleupagus#0 Right Defense All
11 Huffdawg915 Huffdawg915 huffdawg915#2913 Right Wing 4
12 Brxdyx- Brxdyx- brxdyx#0 Right Defense All
13 SiDD_05 SiDD_05 Or+lw
14 rickchel rickchel- rickchel#0 Left Wing All
15 lpfortin lpfortin LPFORTIN#7789 Center 5
16 Kxv-97 Kxv-97 Left Wing All
17 YungREAP x REAPx27 REAP#2614 Center 4 Only C
18 Marner93 xxDripTooHard- Marner93#1187 Right Wing All
19 Illyfilly illyfilly Center All
20 JBro435 Goalie 3 Availability: Sun,mon,Tuesday only 9:30 games Wed and Thurs- all games
21 JDM_LeGzz-23 JDM_LeGzz-23 BarDownQc#7337 Right Wing All
22 SillyFelix SillyFelix Center 5
23 x_Jedi_x420 x_Jedi_x420 Hi+imma+Jedi
24 Igotdat420 Igotdat420 Left Wing All
25 Ligma Leafs leafs1791 Goalie 5
26 TeeSibs TeeSibs TSibs88#2180 Goalie 4 Will be doing media for the S5 AHL playoffs so Wed and Thursdays may be an issue
27 Miipanton Yak_JesusIsLord Center All
28 John_SheIdon XlX-Sheldon-XlX John Sheldon#9411 I+am+able+to+play+whenever+except+when+I+am+in+the+firehouse+for+my+24+hours+shifts.+Those+days+varies+but+will+let+management+know.
29 Keeper0386 Keeper0386 Keeper0386#0742 Center All
30 nymmy75 nymmy75 Center 4
31 Gilleh frank_mcdonald34 Right Wing All c also
32 Xx LoL xX 9 xLOL-9 Center 3
33 xEKANE_9x xEKANE_9x Goalie All
34 xCaptainComeback xCaptainComeback Left Defense All
35 SgtVandoos SgtVandoos Goalie All
36 TheGoalie1212 TheGoalie1212 I'm+not+exactly+sure+how+much+I+can+play+a+week+because+of+my+hockey+schedule+but+if+they're+at+night+it+should+be+tood
37 KittyKing69 KittyKing69 Right Wing 4
38 Jmm420 Jmm420 jmm420#0 Left Defense All
39 CFairman7 CFairman7 CFairman7#5259 Center 4
40 Userpic1306 Userpic1306 Center All
41 WJP089 WJP089 Goalie All
42 Dangletownsniper Dangletownsniper Right Wing All 9/9 avail. Any position but lw and goalie.
43 BarryWoodsDong BarryWoodsDong Center All
44 Fewch_ Fewch_ Left Defense 6 Nibba clamps
45 Icrashbikes Icrashbikes Right Defense All
46 Thee_Ghosty Thee_Ghosty thee_ghosty#0 Goalie 4
47 xDoer3 xDoer3 xdoer3#0 Left Wing All
48 Winston Payne Winston_Payne winstonpayne_#0 Right Defense All I run Enforcer. I can play LD as well but prefer the right side. I probably can't play G (if there's no position lock) due to availability constraints from playing G on the Xbox side.
49 Snoop_651 Snoop_651 Left Wing 5
50 AViss93 Aviss95 AViss#8631 Right Wing 4
51 Wingnutdrw53 Wingnutdrw53 Wingnutdrw53#1228 Left Defense 2
52 Jlm1410 Jlm1410 jlm1410#0787 Center All
53 Unabuga6 Unabuga6 Unabuga6#0060 Goalie 5 Send the boy a winning team
54 b_tpa b_tpa Right Defense 6
55 Rise_Of_Knies Rise_Of_Knies oneteeovi#0 Center All
56 hgSparty H-spartan-G Sparty#0318 Right Defense 3
57 Sunshine2644 Sunshine2644 Right Wing All
58 Drewl24l Drewl24l full_melt707#9603 Right Wing All
59 Nine2Fiver Nine2Fiver Right Defense 4
60 Krok-o-dill Krok-o-dill Krok-o-dill#2321 Goalie 4
61 TheMcKapy themckapy McKapy#4579 Left Wing All
62 ItsJodach ItsJodach Jodach Black 🏆🥇#7007 Left Wing 5
63 AdderallxAdmiral AdderallxAdmiral Right Wing All
64 Hockeyandweed Hockeyandweed Left Wing All
65 ryanwashere78 ryanwashere78 Left Defense 5
66 B1G CHEECH BostonXFever B1G CHEECH#8239 Goalie All
67 SeyMeSmashU SeyMeSmashU Right Defense 4
68 Hriiz TrippyBabbu Right Wing 5
69 Air Raiders Killabfreddy6060 airraiders#0 Left Wing All
70 Guesshoo1 Guesshoo1 Left Defense All
71 xSlamps Knight91_ Slamps#3033 Goalie All
72 Kingilkillu Kingilkillu Right Wing 5
73 clenny822 clenny822 Right Defense 3
74 SniffyMeatal566 Sniffymetal566 Goalie All
75 Obey_the_Sandman Obey_the_Sandman Center 5
76 bullcats1 bullcats1 Center All East Coast between 5:00 and 11:00 PM Weekends anytime.
77 Halakness Halakness Right Wing All
78 Back2dabando86 Back2dabando86 Center All
79 Mahon_SoLo Mahon_SoLo Right Defense All
80 M-A-Skotlas20 M-A-Skotlas20 Left Defense 5 Football Practice Tuesday and Thursday from 8-10 EST,
81 newzealandtroak Troak__ Center All
82 JHughes86- JHughes86- frann8686#0 Right Wing All
83 WillRolltide WillRolltide Right Wing 3
84 KadGOAT-- KadGOAT-- Kadri--#0942 Left Wing 2 My internet is bad. But I am too and it's no excuse
85 meka DVA meka nyBARISny Right Wing 1 Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. Also please pm me before you draft me.
86 JTresatti SneakGangHyena Goalie All ez gold
87 GhostMK GhostMK GhostMK#8226 Center 3
88 H3ad--v--Sh0t H3ad--v--Sh0t Left Defense 3
89 Tc1314 Tc1314 Left Wing 4
90 SacDieseI SacDieseI sacdiesel_#0 Goalie 5
91 Lolfunny1202 Lolfunny1202 Right Wing All
92 Mooner2019 Mooner2019 mooner2019#0 Goalie All
93 Bali_91 Bali_91 Goalie 4
94 xPolskaaa--92 xPolskaaa--92 xPolskaaa--92#2360 Right Wing All
95 Prochx9 Prochx9 Dommy#7793 Left Wing All
96 xPhiist xPhiist cxckkosaurus#5625 Available+whatever+night+of+the+week%2C+normally+after+830+without+issue
97 Craig_D85 Craig_D85 Goalie 4
98 FilthyPuck97 Filthehhh97 Center 5 Top playa hmu I'll be a steal I promise
99 Markz51 Markz_51 markz_51#0 Right Defense 5
100 ChobanLacot ChobanLacot Left Wing 4
101 OrangeChickn HELLO_IM_RYAN ClayBoyRyan#2788 Left Wing All I'm not Letsgoflyers28
102 Fat Grl Hntr Right Wing All
103 DirTbaG_SaVaGe DirTbaG_SaVaGe Left Wing All I'm very good I play team hockey, just wanna find some great people to get down with
104 Carmstrong95 carm95#0 Center 4
105 oRecki oRecki Recki#2673 Goalie All
106 ScrumzWorlddd ScrumzWorlddd Right Defense 3
107 GallySuzuki GallySuzuki Right Wing All Can only game at 9-10pm Can't 11pm games
108 KBI13I Center All I can play RW as well.
109 BurnsForNorris sooks29 Burnsy#3453 Left Defense 5
110 Vish x 91 xVishh Right Wing All
111 bNYCe83 bNYCe83 Goalie All
112 jacksdawgs jacksdawgs Jacksdawgs#7657 Goalie All
113 OdessaSteps OdessaSteps Right Defense All
114 premierplayer premierplayer premierplayer#0 Center 4
115 xKeeping xKeeping xkeeping_57999#0 Center All Not playing goalie for this tourney.
116 pAk Viking pAk-Viking RC-Boomer#6193 Left Wing All
117 GetBigOrGetHuge GetBigOrGetHuge Left Defense All
118 LukeIceey LukeIceey Center 4 Mon-Wed night classes (6-9pm est) start Aug 22
119 Buildingwhat Buildingwhat Right Wing 3
120 TAR-Pit Right Defense 4
121 WhyDaCowPie WhyDaCowPie Goalie 5
122 JxLott JxLott jlott0910#0 Right Wing All Would like to be an Owner
123 griznectar griznectar Right Defense 4
124 LRKrazyLR LRKrazyLR Left Defense 4
125 TrashClown22 TrashClown22 TrashClown22#7298 Goalie All
126 droxx22 Droxx22 Left Defense All
127 Stxvio Stxvio stxvio#0 Right Defense All
128 PoIgz Polgz- polgz#0 Left Wing All
129 Speedyrocker89 Speedyrocker89 Center All Why can’t restaurants get the restroom right? This is really bugging me. I’ve been in some very fine restaurants that do so many things right... right up until someone has to use the restroom. Although no restaurant restroom has risen to the level where I wanted to go there because of the restroom (“Hey guys, let’s go to Joe’s. The food is iffy but the bathroom is to die for!”), there have been times where it definitely added or subtracted from the overall experience. I will try to highlight what I consider some common mistakes as well as what makes for the best restroom experiences. I’m most familiar with the mens room and, except for those unisex restrooms (more on that later), the women’s room is a mystery for me and I want it to stay that way. I have a vision of a comfortable place where women go to “freshen up” and don’t do any of the things usually associated with a bathroom. I’ve been told that is not the case, that it's just like the mens room, but I’m going to keep believing it is different and there’s no telling me otherwise. With that being said, on to the restrooms. First, the ideal restaurant restroom. Being a germaphobe, the ultimate restroom experience will be a “hands free” experience. In a perfect world, you would not have to touch anything when using the public restroom. This not only includes the obvious (toilet seat, handle and various knobs) but even the less obvious, like the door. To me, touching anything in the restroom should be avoided at all cost. To be honest, I’m not even too keen on touching myself, so touching something that someone else has touched after they might have touched themselves sort of freaks me out a bit. Unfortunately, to have the whole hands free experience you need a really big place. This is to accommodate the entrance to the restroom. To go without a door, one must have some sort of maze-like entrance that uses a lot of space. I acknowledge that only the very largest restaurants (or airports or shopping malls) have the necessary space for this setup. Once inside however, the technology is readily available where any profitable place should be able to go hands free. There are sensors that can flush toilets, dispense soap, turn on water and dry hands or dispense paper towels so you can not only dry your hands, but can then use the paper to open the door (if you must have a door) on your way out without having to touch it with your bare hand which otherwise just made moot every other hygienic precaution you have just taken. I actually skipped an important step on the way to the restroom. Before you get into the restroom, you must first find it. Most places have their restrooms “in the back” somewhere. Easy enough you would think, but here’s a bit of a dilemma. The restroom should be easy to find yet be out of sight of diners. If you are sitting at a table anywhere in the restaurant, you should not be able to see inside the restroom. The ultimate sin? To somehow make eye contact with an actual toilet while dining. That can be a game changer. So, where should you place the restroom? Down an obvious hallway is good place to start. Some classic mistakes? I should not be able to chat with the dishwasher through an open door to the kitchen while waiting for the restroom. Food should be nowhere in sight and certainly not within reach of a bathroom even if it’s in a can. I know it’s kind of trendy to stock bales of semolina flour and cans of imported Roma tomatoes in places where customers can walk past and think to themselves “I like that they use top quality ingredients...” but please, not near a restroom. I’ve actually seen cans stacked in the restroom. My only hope is that it was meant as some kind of Warhol-like piece of art and never made it onto a plate. OK, you’ve found the restroom, or at least think you’ve found the restroom when you come across the most egregious error in the world of restaurant bathrooms - signage. This seemingly most simple of things has done more to confuse me more than anything else associated with a restaurant restroom. Why do so many restaurant owners insist on making a trip to the restroom a game of pictionary? Is it really that difficult to stencil a “men” or a “women” on a door? Maybe include one of those international figures of a man or a woman. Listen folks, I’m just trying to use the bathroom. Now is not the time to get cute. I should not have to try to figure out if the wood carving is Sir Lancelot or maybe Lady Macbeth. Do I use the restroom with the picture of the mermaid or the one with the sperm whale? I’m not even sure what gender Medusa was. I know it's a French or Greek restaurant but I can assure you, if we're actually eating on U.S. soil, most of your customers do not speak French or Greek. Thankfully, Chinese and Thai restaurants recognize this and almost always go with English. Although women tell me that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I were to accidentally walk into "their" room, it would be for me. Bottom line, please put an easy to read sign on the door. Thank you. OK, so the place isn’t big enough to go door-less but you managed to put the restrooms down the hall or behind some sort of screen. So far so good. Everything inside is up to par (hopefully hands free) except for... the trash bin. Really, how difficult should this be? First, could you please place the bin near the door so that I can open it with the paper towel (not touch the door) and then throw it in the trash without having to make an NBA 3-pointer? I rarely make that shot which segues into my next pet peeve: how often do you find the restroom trash overflowing with paper towels? I will now pause while you think of the two possible solutions for this problem... (I’ll be right back. Cue the Jeopardy theme music in your head...) I’m back so let’s see if you came up with the same answers as me. First option: get a BIGGER trash can. Pretty simple, don’t you think? Second option: EMPTY the freak’n trash when it gets full! You can slice and dice and chop and saute and grill and poach but you are unable to get a grasp on the trash container in the restroom. Inexcusable. Next on the list of common restaurant restroom miscues? The lock on the door. So we’re in a “cute” (e.g. small) bistro that has wonderful food but only has room for two small, one person, restrooms. I understand we might not be able to put in all the latest hands-free gizmo's that I really like to see but, come on guys, how about a decent lock on the door? Once again, I’m a little weird about this stuff as I’m the type of person who locks the bathroom door when I’m alone in my own house. One of the worst things I can possibly imagine happening to me is for the restroom door to be flung open in a crowded restaurant exposing me to dozens of diners who, I can assure you, have now lost their appetite for even the finest of fine food. Am I the only person who has nervously used a restroom while propping a foot or hand against the door? I’m sorry but the little button on the door knob doesn’t cut it. Neither does the small hook that I have to get into the even smaller eye that was screwed into the door post and might just be strong enough to keep a light breeze from swinging the door open. For me the ideal lock is something you would find on a medieval castle. You know the one I’m talking about - the kind that requires 30 or 40 strong guys using a 100 year-old pine tree battering ram to break open. Being that such a lock might be extreme, I’ll settle on a compromise - a good solid lock, or better yet, two. Maybe the lock can incorporate some of that new airplane or Grayhound bus technology which shows whether or not the restroom is “occupied”? Lighting. Once again, this should be a pretty easy one. First, more than one light bulb please. This way, if one were to go out, I can still see. Next, how about enough wattage so I can really see what's going on in there. It's the bathroom for goodness sake. I’m really not looking for any kind of ambiance. Then there’s the light switch. Now, I’m a green kinda guy, really I am. I recycle and turn off lights when I leave a room but there is very little that creeps me out more than to have to feel along a wall in a dark public restroom for a light switch. Please have a light that stays on all the time - I know it might waste some energy but it's really so little compared to the peace of mind it gives me in return. If you want to be really cool, go with the motion sensor lighting ($14.95 at Home Depot). Anything. Just don't make me have to run my hand along the wall. Finally, the unisex restroom. The ONLY time this is acceptable is when there is only one restroom in the building. If there are two, make one the men’s room and the other the women’s room. What’s the big deal you ask? This is the big deal: I walk into the unisex restroom and find the toilet seat has been left in the upright position. My first thought is “this is good, one less thing I have to touch” but then I realize that there might be a woman waiting outside the door. What is she going to think of me when she finds the seat left up? My women friends tell me not to sweat it as they never actually sit on the seat in any public restroom regardless of how clean the place is but I don’t believe them and have been programed for 50 years to “always put the seat down as there may be a lady using it after you”. What started out as a positive (me not having to touch the seat) has now, due to the unisex nature of the restroom, become “well, I have to lower the seat” and... you know what happens next, don’t you? The seat is, let’s say... not clean. As there might be a woman waiting outside the door, I am now in the position of having to CLEAN the seat because “what would she think of me if I didn’t” even though I had nothing to do with the lack of cleanliness and it would be very awkward to engage in such a conversation trying to explain this fact. I have now gone from enjoying a (sometimes very expensive) dinner with my wife to cleaning toilets because the restaurant has decided that “...we should be avant-garde and go with two unisex restrooms because I saw that in Europe last summer.” The real irony is that I don’t even clean the toilets at home as we hire someone to do that so the only place where I find myself cleaning a toilet these days is usually in an expensive restaurant. How weird is that?. I’m all about equality but please, please, please, separate restrooms. There you have it. A few rules to follow to make the restroom experience as pleasant as possible. Does anyone else feel this way or am I nuts? When I started blogging, almost exactly four years back, blogging was already a 'thing', but I may as well have been Amish for all I knew about it. My first blog host was so tiny, it imploded in on itself a few months after I left it, and is now a cobweb on the ceiling of the Internet. I shifted to blogspot and began to record the whiny saga of my life for the benefit of those who did not have the privilege of ring-side seats in real life. Staying in one place too long makes me fidgety; I've felt the urge to cut and run many times, but in the end, seduced by the sheer span, depth and vintage of the inside jokes and memories on this blog, I've made the decision to stay 'just a little longer', choosing to quell my boredom for the moment with template changes and spandy new blogrolls. My mother is fond of conferring the title of 'lambi race ka ghoda' on people who gain her approval. I'd be hard put to think of a more depressing fate for myself. As horses go, I'd class myself as more a Mollie than a Boxer, and this ghodi's in the mood to defect. (Displaying an unexpected sense of humour here, Microsoft Word corrected 'defect' to 'defecate'. Nice try, Word, but not really.) Long story short, this blog's finished. It's been four years of a good run. I always wrote for an audience, but it never really stopped surprising me that people actually wanted to read me, so thank you, all. The Daily Mail tells me the Internet = creeps with no life (there's a point in there somewhere - 4chan, anyone? (I'm kidding, 4chan, don't kill me!)) , but at least we're creeps who can spell well. That has to count for something, right? The nights are too warm. It sounds like Mister Jaipur-wala DJ is playing Justin Beiber feat Imran Khan and one, two, five, twenty, fifty five people are dancing dancing dancing to it. I look up and the sky is orange. They say there's no pollution here, but I do believe that half the Indian desert is suspended in the air. Red sand, red moon, dark blue sky. And I look down and it's Justin Beiber. A night like this and it should be Yann Tiersen. But law school is never what is should be, law school is always inappropriate; you sit back and laugh in disbelief and affection - if you are old - and simply in disbelief - if you are new. Old, young, young, old. Never is the line between youth and cynicism so obvious as on Freshers' Party Night. First come the young ones, the fresh ones. Their faces are washed and their moustaches are bleached, so cute. Their ties are tied. Eight o' clock, nine o' clock, ten o' clock and the dance floor is filled with the cream of joyous undergraduate youth dancing away, powered by little more than alcohol and optimism, although I'm feeling kindly tonight, so it'll be only optimism then. Law school parties are a cheap investment; the rich harvest of gossip that they produce is well worth the cost of a Jaipuri DJ and a sound system. The posters and other fripperies are probably best appreciated by those not contributing to the making of such gossip. Sometimes I seriously consider abandoning all pretence and converting this blog wholesale into an anonymous law school gossip blog. Perhaps throw in something about myself as well, which is the closest I'm ever going to get to being a Bad Girl. A gossip blog, yay! But if you follow that thought to its logical end, you'll wish you hadn't followed that thought to its logical end, for all gossip has at its crux either lust or alcohol, and usually alcohol fueled lust. One libidinous misadventure in the shadows on that side, and the awkward initiations of a first romance on this side. But tonight, here in this sweaty neon Daler Mehndi-themed moment, how is one to tell the difference? How? Even in gossip, one must be fair. I used to want to play the part of the ideological rebel and dis parties as part of that plan, when I realised that I did not have an ideology to go with the plan of dissing parties. I simply do not like parties for no fancy reason, and there is no getting around that. So I am doing what I like to do and sitting on the off side of the dance floor, inconspicuously eating boiled corn and watching the parade of high heels trip down the sand and lodge themselves in sticky mud. The zenith of a college romance is having your boyfriend pull your heel out of sludge, aw, so cute. I feel nothing. Come, rest your feet, collapse on the grass, the food is bad. But that's okay because no one is really tasting it tonight. The move from smoky shadows to harsh tubelights is a little disorienting. The chowmein is hosting a housefly dinner party. The bhaji has congealed but the pao is still fried and crisp. Come to me, fatty goodness. Come to mama. It's past midnight and the sky is so black it's purple. Shoes are coming off and feet are slowing down. Foundation has caked on your face; I must say the middle of your forehead is positively glowing tonight, darling. Lipstick has left the corners of your mouth and oddly stains just the middle of your lower lip - you, do you know you look like a burlesque star? Dita von Teese, tadka laga ke. Tee hee, tee hee. Everything is just so funny tonight. I play act, I am commentator to my own life - Spaz Kumari sharing the box with Nameless Mangy Cur: SK: The air is charged with anticipation! Will the creepy seniors make a move on unsuspecting freshers or won't they? NMC: roots about energetically in the dustbin SK: The creepy seniors are leading by an advantage of several years! What chances do you give the young 'uns, Cur? NMC - gets head stuck in a cardboard box and falls about confusedly -- I'm suddenly tired. Off to bed. Pip-pip. This is a super self-obsessed post. It is on my sins against gender stereotypes. I am of the school of thought that believes that to acknowledge stereotypes is to perpetuate them, so I've been sitting really quietly in a corner and hoping this tag will pass me by, but mera bad luck hi kharaab hai and she thinks I should do this tag, so here it is. 1. I cannot dance. I will not dance. I do not like situations where I am expected to dance, and I will shamelessly sit at the corner table, eat everyone's food and drink all the Pepsi while they are living their brief alcohol-fueled Hrithik Roshan delusions. If you try to force me to dance, I will not like it, and then I will get agitated and then I will pass out. 2. I do not wear makeup because I hate how it feels like a plastic raincoat on my skin. I began wearing kohl a few months back, so on a good day I'll be wearing earrings and kohl. On a regular day I will be wearing neither. 3. I have a very dirty mind and a a huge appetite for off-colour jokes. I swear a lot in ordinary conversation and I love learning to swear authentically in different languages. I am an equal opportunity letch; I letch at men and women of all ages. I regularly objectify people and I rather enjoy it. 4. I am a very focused, very quick shopper. I love my friends, but I will never accompany the more finicky ones on a shopping trip because I enjoy the glow that comes with not having killed anyone. 5. I have a very literal mind and I usually do not 'get' hints. If someone wants me to do something, their best bet is to ask me directly, otherwise it will never happen. 6. I do not remember birthdays. I have on occasion, forgotten my own birthday, and having been reminded of it by a friend, acknowledged it and proceeded to ignore it. It's a birthday, it's no big deal. 7. I can't cook. I can't even boil water without help. However I can make very decent tea, and a passable maggi. I have a theory that the Food Pyramid requirements are covered by tea and maggi. If they are not, I'm going to have a very short life. 8. My deepest desires are to go paragliding, parasailing, waterskiing and bungee jumping. I also really, really REALLY want to learn to shoot, in pursuit of which desire I have spent two whole days taking buses from dingy office to dingy office in Madras, only to have an assortment of moustachioed idiots tell me that there are, of course, places to learn to shoot in Madras, but I probably can't because I'm too skinny and too female. To these men I offer the one-fingered salute, and the privilege of being my first targets when I DO learn to shoot. 9. I do not like newborn babies. To call them ugly is to downplay the sheer animal STRANGENESS of their faces. They can't focus their eyes, and their irises simply bounce randomly about in the sockets. Their mouths are shapeless and lipless and always open in some silent primal scream. Their heads are constantly lolling about. They look like miniatures of the grandfather who had a stroke in Thevar Magan. There is nothing charming about that. Nothing. This list stops at nine because it will pain me to stop at an even number. Now, why I don't know if this tag is a good idea: I've read many many blogposts by many different women who have done this tag, and I find the gratuitously self-congratulatory tone of most of them somewhat self-defeating. Acknowledging the breaking of a(n alleged) stereotype as a 'big deal', simply attributes legitimacy to that stereotype where none may really exist. I must confess that stereotypically 'womanly' women have been the exception in my life, and most women I know straddle gender roles with ease and display no special sense of accomplishment for having done so. So forgive me for suspecting that the 'womanly' stereotype is simply some highly fictionalised, excessively romanticised construct that may at some point in time have had a strong basis in reality, but which no longer has that. In other words, it's no big deal to sin against this stereotype, because no one really fulfils it to begin with. Feel free to call bullshit, I have no training in sociology. You fondly watch his eyes glaze over, and you sigh proudly as he shouts ineffectually above the cacophony. You are delighted when he decides to throw a chalk, and you blink back tears of affection as he threatens to withhold attendance. His voice eventually peters away and he is a shadow of his confident self. He finally decides to ignore the rest of the class and teach only the three people in the first row. When the bell rings, he slinks quietly away. You look around at your class with an unmistakable sense of brotherhood and pride; in the grand tradition of things, another new teacher has been successfully broken in. But it takes so long to train them, and before you know it they are gone. It is a thankless job, but well. Sunrise, sunset. It rained today and the earth smells new again. There is a quiet, gentle romance about the rain in the desert. There is no lush greenery that follows it, just the opening of tiny star shaped flowers, gaudy in their colouring and few in their number, blooming between tiles and pushing up stubbornly through cracks. We step on them all the time, but they persist. The people here are exactly the same. Proud, hardy and coloured like tropical birds. People are prettier in the rain too. Umbrellas fly away, hairpins are lost and clothing sticks in funny places. This makes people awkward, so they laugh for no reason and the cold brings out the pink in their cheeks and the whites of their teeth and melts their makeup and the walls they construct around themselves. It's nice to watch the death-metal fanatic smile stupidly in the rain. The rain in the south is so different from the rain in the north. The rain in Chennai is warm and grubby and the roads fill with grey sludgewater, with an enthusiasm that is only matched by the people who wade through them, nodding joyfully to each other, saying aiyoo every year the rains come earlier, this global warming also no, god only knows what will happen to our weather now, the last time it rained like this it was in 1958 and my auntie was pregnant with chinna, you know chinna? chinna's son is doing yem yess in yoo yess, and how old is your daughter now? In Bangalore the rain is cold and clear and people do not comment on the rain because rain of course a part of Bangalore's weather, and no Bangalorean worth his Bhagyalakshmi Butter Gulkand would dare to insinuate that he is surprised by the fabulousness of the weather. But everyone is happier, and if you are very shortsighted like I am, you should sit on a bench in Cubbon park with your spectacles off, and watch the rain come through the fuzzy canopy in fat crystal drops magnified by the aquarium light and your faulty eyesight. And you can watch the lazy pie dogs settle themselves in puddles and bark with anger and suspicion at the drops bouncing off their noses. And you can drink your excellent hot coffee and think, perhaps I should have brought a book? And you can be happy. The rain in Cochin is the cleanest, friendliest rain I've ever seen. The rain comes in a wave of water and washes through the whole city. Crowds of women with purple-black curls, chitter excitedly like birds and disappear under communal umbrellas. You take your glass of pink water and stand outside your restaurant to watch as a gaggle of nuns in white sarees tumbles confusedly out of a tiny matador van and splashes energetically to safety. And as suddenly as it came, the rain is gone. The sky, the trees, the roads and the white houses with colourful roofs look scrubbed clean. People pause at the sudden absence of pattering raindrops and juddering traffic. Someone laughs, a child jumps tentatively in a puddle. The pause is broken, and Cochin is on the move again. In Jodhpur, of course, drama is two for a penny, so we don't just have rains, no sirree, for how would that please the foreigner tourists? No, the droplets are icy bullets and they swirl in the midst of a dramatic sandstorm. The air is red and the sky is purple. There is thunder and there is lightning, and in the best tradition of all bars of lightning, trees will be struck and burnt to black skeletons. Occassionally there are hailstones. These storms come prettily accessorised with fallen buildings, flooding dams and dead pedestrians. O, you white man who has come from Yoo Kay, are your pitiful London rains anything like this? Are they?? Huh?? HUH?? Yeah, I thought not. See why National Geographic loves us so much! Perhaps this is unnecessary to say, but I love the rains.
130 KingClutch x 77 KingClutchx77 kc#1247 Right Defense All ill be away for around a week
131 HazeeHype HazeeHype hazeehype#0 Right Wing All
132 Gatinofreak1977 Gatinofreak1977 Right Defense All
133 ItsFatDino ItsFatDino Fatdinosaurz#0940 Goalie All
134 HitByTheBest95 HitByTheBest95 Right Defense All
135 Hot_Pocket_Carl Hot_Pocket_Carl Hot_Pocket_Carl#9249 Right Wing All I will never Give up!!
136 OcEaNtOmBs55 Center 4
137 Scttmax61 Scttmax61 Right Wing 4
138 Teamrun420 Teamrun420 Left Defense All
139 Serpe x 13 Serpe_x_13 Center All
140 x Pinto 57 ThaChosenOne-- xpinto57#0 Left Defense All
141 canuckftc12W canuckftc12W canuckftc12W#5025 Right Defense All Can LD if needed but much better at RD
142 bottle_man bottle_man Left Wing 3
143 WizardInBlack72 WizardInBlack72 Right Defense All
144 sloanertw Sloanertw Right Wing All
145 BKerslake8 NjDevil08 Left Wing 4
146 chpmnk1121 chpmnk1121 Goalie 5
147 xFIamer brettkov#0 Left Wing All
148 xDeal89 xDeal89 xdealynder89#0 Goalie All Also play fwd
149 nowelbaby nowelbaby Goalie All
150 ll_Webby_ll ll_Webby_ll Goalie 4
151 Veclaran Veclaran veclaran#0 Goalie 4
152 Oso-Sic Oso-Sic Oso-Sic#4266 Right Defense 2 I suck now, but maybe if I was on a good team you could get the best out of me. My availability is really only good at the end of the week, and it's possible I'll be tired from work and not really be too invested in this shit. But maybe someone can catch lightning in a bottle with a late pick. P.S. If my son is being loud, I turn off my mic so, just FYI.
153 Painfullyslain Painfullyslain Right Wing All
154 Blackknightwpg Blackknightwpg Right Wing All
155 Lynyrd_Skynyrd Lynyrd_Skynyrd Lynyrd_Skynyrd#9156 Left Wing All
156 Semple19 Semple19 semple19#0 Availability+may+vary
157 KimOPereZ KimOPereZ KimOPereZ#8285 Right Defense 5 Ambidextrous can play LD too
158 Holy_Coley Holy_Coley Right Wing 5 I'm washed
159 Breezy5457 Breezy5457 Right Defense 5
160 Dedstarks dedstarks Dedstarks#9685 Right Defense All
161 Munecongo74 Munecongo74 Left Wing 3
162 Bergzzz-_- Goalie 4
163 SDA_NELSON SDA_NELSON Right Wing 4
164 ItsTheSilkyBrit ItsTheSilkyBrit Right Wing All
165 baverstock4700 baverstock4700 Right Wing All
166 brymac97 brymac97 brymac97#0 Right Wing All
167 x__Mattson__x x__Mattson__x Rw+also
168 MPelley25 MPelley25 Right Defense All
169 KENNYHITMANHART KENNYHITMANHART kennethon3000(Calgary hitmen O)#8372 Center All
170 flyers22890 Sadboi_Prolific Center All
171 Poit77 Poit77 poit77#0443 Left Wing 5
172 alonzi401 alonzi401 alonzi401#0 Goalie All would like to be on Italy being italian lol but will go anywhere.
173 churchy1707 churchy1707 churchy9767#0 Goalie 4
174 xXAucoin1Xx xXAucoin1Xx Right Wing All
175 BroadwayCJ97 BroadwayCJ97 Goalie 5
176 budymaya budymaya Left Defense All Lw plz
177 mratchet mratchet Left Wing 2
178 Schwartz-74 sazer15 Lil Uzi Vert#9513 Goalie All
179 JCpens22 Jcpens22 Jcpens22#0268 Left Wing 4
180 LEGAL x 76 Leg_al Leg_al#7065 Right Defense All
181 KiNgErX17 KiNgErX17 kingerx17#0 Left Wing 4
182 ltsDxstin ThrowTheSlip Amazing#2985 Left Defense All I play both sides
183 Sweat2hard1916 Sweat2hard_68 Right Wing All
184 Cold_Killa-77 Cold_Killa-77 Left Wing 4
185 matthuot87 Matthuot87 Goalie All
186 l MPG l Right Defense All
187 JSILVERS JSILVERS Left Defense All
188 Sedinpower sedinpower2233 Right Defense All
189 Iplay_for_keeps Iplay_for_keeps Keeps#5245 Right Wing All
190 mgml1987 mgml1987 Left Defense 5 Can play LD or RD
191 hotwheels9966 hotwheels9966 Goalie All
192 amp0508 amp0508 Left Defense All
193 GhostSlayerTv GhostSlayerTv Ghostslayertv(Owner)#0605 Center All
194 BlackCommunist BlackCommunist Goalie All
195 Pfarrcyde23 Pfarrcyde23 Left Wing 5
196 coorsi88 coorsi88 Right Wing All
197 Pastahnak Pastahnak Goalie 1 I demand to be paid in MLB the show stub cards
198 realwheels_5 realwheels_5 Left Wing 5
199 imona_plain imona_plain rockosmodernheffer#0 Right Defense 2 Have SP playoffs
200 Notoriousbiz14 Notoriousbiz14 Left Wing All
201 mapleleafs1981 mapleleafs1981 Right Wing 4
202 Dangles4days Dangles4days Left Defense 6
203 Wes20vt Wes20vt Right Wing 4 8====D
204 Strxp Trip7 JoKeRx11-_ joker_31.#0 Right Wing All
205 xiMsTiiCkyWiTx x9sTiiCkY7x Left Defense 5
206 Triiio 4 Triiio-4 Right Defense 2 Tbnk
207 Angry_Dangler17 Angry_Dangler17 Right Defense 4 I suck
208 xKLuTchDoLphiNx xKLuTchDoLphiNx Goalie All
209 Bizness101 Bizness101 Right Defense All
210 Defianttz Defianttz Left Defense 3 LD or RD
211 jboro1227 jboro1227 Right Wing All
212 Rowbo73 Rowbo73 Left Defense 5
213 LUCKY88711 LUCKY88711 LUCKY 54449#5917 Left Defense All I will play either side
214 Imcanedianehh Imcanedianehh Goalie All
215 A_Lucky_Pucker A_Lucky_Pucker Left Defense All Shut down LD.
216 xLedHedx ILedHedI LedHed#9360 Goalie 3
217 smyles57 smyles57 smyles57#1953 Right Defense 3
218 String_King666 String_king666 Left Defense All
219 Jwva Jwva Right Defense 5
220 BigJay x89 BigJayx89x bigjayy#0 Right Defense 1
221 Who_AreU- Who_AreU- Left Wing 2
222 Maxx_20 Maxx_20 Center All
223 Kernsy Kerns-_- Left Wing All
224 zeffster zeffster Left Wing All Nothing past 1030
225 xBudz87 xBudz87 xBudz87#6554 Goalie All
226 west-dubz west-dubz Goalie All
227 Rollerpig647 Rollerpig647 Center 5
228 FrenchMoron FrenchMoron Left Defense 5
229 GonzoArmstrong GonzoArmstrong Right Defense All
230 Desjy99 Desjy_99 Center 2
231 stay_at_homed stay_at_homed Left Defense All
232 Fatjoedashow1984 Fatjoedashow1984 Right Defense All
233 xReignMan- xReignMan- xReignMan-#5260 Left Wing All
234 Judge-99x Judge-99x Right Wing All
235 Dumais93 Dumais93 I+am+on+vacation+until+Thursday+August+10th.
236 Kann0n_42_ Kann0n_42_ Right Defense 5 My Tuesdays are Busy with real hockey.
237 Bhyman1220 Bhyman1220 Right Defense 5
238 Dazwyy Dazwyy Right Wing All
239 Kusznir Kusznirrr daddykuzy#0 Center All
240 ticKlemEkeV ticKlemEkeV Right Wing 4
241 VattanRulez VattanRulez Goalie 3 im dope in the cage
242 doyers doyers Right Defense All
243 VoltageFusion VoltageFusion Left Wing All
244 xl_SlCK_lx xl_SlCK_lx Right Wing All Rw or center currently in lgwjc ......nights I am not scheduled for lgwjc I can certainly play
245 MiQ FrosTyy Testify911 opTestiiFy#2463 Right Wing 4
246 Pezdemic Pezdemic pezdemic#4906 Left Defense 5
247 Kushnee Kushnee kushnastyy#0 Right Wing All
248 Matsab1515 NMacky29 Matsab1515#8641 Left Wing All Can play LW RW and C.
249 dlomac86 dlomac86 Center All
250 Traz615 Traz615 Center 4
251 Mic08291994 ZxSnakebite Right Wing 3
252 Heqld Heqld Heald#5251 Center 5
253 TOTHELEFT14451 TOTHELEFT14451 Center All how can i get scouted?
254 o S m i i t t y Smittyy-_- o S m i i t t y#5303 Right Defense All
255 xxSNIPESHOTxx21 xxSNIPESHOTxx21 Left Defense 3
256 jamesthejerk88 jamesthejerk88 Center 5 I can play any position. I understand how to play this game better than 99% of the people playing it. I'm extremely unselfish with the puck all I do is set people up and I know how to score when need be.
257 Itt79 Itt79 Dallas14#6459 Goalie All
258 Maddens26 Maddens26 maddens26#0 Center All
259 Jobi Wan 4 Giroux_4 jobiwan4#0 Right Defense 6
260 Payner dpayne090 Goalie All
261 debarrd debarrd Left Defense 4
262 Ryy0--- Ryy0--- ryy0_#0 Left Defense 4
263 iLLuminOttie iLLuminOttie Right Defense All
264 DvusGuy DvusGuy Right Defense 5 Brand new to LG but played NHL for 20+ years