Media Vol. 6, Issue No. 4 — Late, But Super Great!

Discussion in 'Leaguegaming FIFA Association (Discontinued)' started by nubsy004, Jul 18, 2017.

  1. nubsy004

    nubsy004 LGFA Commissioner

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    Week 4 Power Rankings

    By Duey912
    LGFA Extra time Reporter

    1. Portland Timbers (+1)
    Coming off of one of the most impressive weeks, Portland claims the top spot defeating top tier teams like New York and Sporting KC. Goal-scoring @Vieira l Xi is taking some time off to get a tan in the sun, so Portland had to find someone else to pass the bronze boot off to. New additions to the team could prove helpful with better availability and midfield which might lift this Portland team out of range of being reached this season for the title.

    2. New York Red Bulls (+1)
    New Golden Boot leader @xWDx VOLZ is leading the attack behind kitchen worker @Brisan66. Very solid defensive showings this season having the second-least goals allowed in the league. @Sokratis x 25 and the Sokratettes look good on the backline with newly welcomed TOTW @Psycho7Clutch. Can’t wait to see what this team can do in all competitions.

    3. Sporting KC (-1)
    Has anyone see Lazer Blazer (@eLeX Lazer) or the rest of Week 1's almighty team. Failing to win all big games this season, this team has found themselves possibly out of title contention. Owner @KCNightshade is struggling to field 11 and is being stuck controlling a decent amount of players on the pitch. Losing his GM and his RA, luck hasn’t been too great. This team will have to make its name in the playoffs or the preaseason cup may be the only trophy going on their cabinet this season.

    4. DC United (+3)
    After a very strong showing last week, I had no choice but to move these bandits up to 4th place. Nub a tub (@nubsy004) tallying up 12 points total for his team last week really helped his team push forward to achieve points. Scoring 23 goals while allowing only 9 goals throughout the week compared to last week's 7 goals scored and 17 allowed. Does winning 5 of 6 games show what they can do, or is losing that one game against a top tier team show how they can't win against the top teams?

    5. Columbus Crew (-1)
    After a very below average week, I was doubting putting Columbus here. Not a lot to say about this team besides players wanting out. Stats not being put in doesn’t give much to talk about with this team. @LFc Montano will have to do a better job next time out if he wants to field a team that can keep up with the big guns.

    6. New York City FC (-1)
    Unluckyyyyyy boys when fielding a full team can be dangerous, but don’t look forward to that happening often. I was shocked after the team got off after having a full 11 against Sporting KC in their first game and forfeiting their second game. Lets see if ACL assist leader @Unlucky Dustin can use his magic in the 4-3-3 attack in other competitions this season.

    7. Colorado Rapids (+2)
    From not putting stats in to getting rid of some of his star midfielders, Bullfrog Mcgraw (@Bu11frog) is making some unique moves. Moving out of last place and showing signs of life, we hope to see if new acquisitions of @I Statsny26 I, @AbKeepzIt100, @Beast l 14 l, and @gatoteo can help this team move forward. As the great Pepper Brooks once said, “That’s a bold strategy Cotton, let's see if it pays off!"

    8. Chicago Fire (-2)
    Sources from the chatbox Sunday were saying management couldn’t be found for the Windy City team. Recent struggles for @LFc Phenom of finding who can play what are putting a tough toll on him. Being a new owner of a team of players you barely know is tough, but hopefully the Fire figure everything out and have a strong finish!

    9. New England Revolution (+1)
    A new addition to management has helped this team tremendously. @CKlassen being in net proves a solid GK really helps the team concede a lot less goals per week. Going from allowing an average of 18.5 GPW in the first two weeks compared to 7 GPW is a huge step for this team's defense. Why doesn’t this team have more points? That’s a question for the attack that went missing. Going from scoring an average 12 GPW in the first two weeks to 5 GPW this last week, something has changed to hurt this attack. Owner @EricE30 better find a solution to make the whole team come together if he wants any shot at making playoffs.

    10. Philadelphia Union (-2)
    Owner who gets caught cheating doesn’t seem to care about the team he has drafted anymore since he has given up on them. Missing last nights games to go watch HBOs’ hit series Game of Thrones seemed more important to him. Winter has already came for his team as they have found themselves frozen dead last and handing out free wins to whatever team comes their way.

    Trade saga finally finds end
    Portland, Colorado battle in back alley over @I M0NEY l

    By @nubsy004
    LGFA Extra Time Editor/LGFA Access Co-Host

    For nearly a week, trade negotiations between Colorado and Portland were on the move, the stalled, then were blown all to hell. But finally, after a back-alley UFC match, the trade was made.
    The saga started at the beginning of the season, with Portland GM @Duey912 pestering Colorado Owner @Bu11frog91 about trading him the Mexican of the north, @I M0NEY l.
    "Y'all suck. Give me my friend already," Duey eloquently pleaded. "Money already got Judased out of trophies last season. Do the right thing and send him to a winning team."
    Bullfrog hopped by the harassment for two weeks, but after a 1-1-4 showing in Week 3, the owner finally saw the light.
    "That's it. Send me your offers. Everything will be considered," Bullfrog told other owners in the league.
    Upon hearing the news, Money went out to celebrate his possible escape from mile high. Witnesses say the two-time TOTS midfielder was seen in a local Denver establishment standing on the bar and pouring bottle after bottle of Cristal over his head while singing La Cucaracha as loudly as possible.
    "Surprisingly, the other patrons weren't even mad," the witness said. "Everyone knows ole Moneybags needed to celebrate a bit."
    While Money was blowing cash at the bar, Portland Owner @Sully l 11 was stepping into Bullfrog's office.
    Negotiations were tough.
    More than 10 players, $5 million in cash and multiple draft picks were on and off the table, and on Wednesday, the whole thing almost completely fell through.
    "This jerk won't give me anyone good," Bullfrog said. "Money is worth a lot, and I'm not taking a bag of dicks…erm…a bag of balls for him. Someone has to play CAM for me if I let Money leave."
    "All these people you want are my friends," Sully countered. "I'm not trying to be the Judas of Season 11, no sir."
    After leaving with no deal, Sully hit a hotel and slept on the trade talks. He returned the next day with an agreeable offer.
    @AbKeepzIt100, @l Stastny26 l, @Beast l 14 l and @gatoteo were transferred to Colorado, and Money and @CoLoMBo14 left mile high for the land of wood chopping.
    "Bout motha fuckin' time," Duey said. "I thought I was never going to get my friend."
    While both teams were finally happy, sources inside Dick's Sporting Goods Park say @Soul Austin is in pretty bad shape emotionally.
    "He actually tried hiding in Money's luggage to hitch a ride to Portland," the source said. "He made it all the way to the airport, but the TSA found him when scanning the giant duffel bag. Now that he's back, he's spent the past three days curled up in the fetal position on the floor of the showers, with cold water running over him. We're starting to wonder if he's gonna make it to games this week."
    In Portland, an impromptu parade was held when Money got off his flight.
    As crowds gathered to welcome him, Money got on top of the team bus and proclaimed, "I'M HERE PUSSIES."

    SATIRE DISCLOSURE: This article is not serious in nature. If you believe what you have read here, Extra Time and the LGFA relinquish all responsibilities regarding your actions. Carry on.

    Week 3 TOTW

    Team by Duey912 and JaysWayss, Cards by Fatal Enjoyment
    Formation: 3-5-2

    LS: @TIMBORULES
    RS: @nubsy004
    CAM: @eLeX Lazer
    LM: @Top Schneck
    RM: @Cuauhtemoc l 10
    DM: @Duey912
    DM: @l M A P E S l
    LCB: @Belbum
    CB: @Sokratis x 25
    RCB: @Cobra624
    GK: @Risxn
    Reserves
    ST: @xWDx VOLZ
    OM: @iExecute Panda
    DM: @Igniti0n 69
    OB: @Greek18
    GK: @Psycho7Clutch
    UTL: @RAWness l13l
    UTL: @JaysWayss
     
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  2. washed up wany

    washed up wany Well-Known Member

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    Lazer Blazer was found in my pocket. No golden boot for u

    Nice read as always
     
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  3. DueY I 1 I

    DueY I 1 I Well-Known Member

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    Damn you took him out of my pocket that's crazy
     
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  4. txB0BBYxt

    txB0BBYxt briere’s belt

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    when lazer who only plays st gets cam and the assist leader never got a totw all season, seems suspect
     
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  5. Trae x8

    Trae x8 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah wtf... i didnt know we were putting people out of position now... CAM TOTS here i come
     
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  6. DueY I 1 I

    DueY I 1 I Well-Known Member

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    there werent any good cam candidates this week sorry!
     
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  7. nubsy004

    nubsy004 LGFA Commissioner

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    *seems
     
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  8. Trae x8

    Trae x8 Well-Known Member

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    yeah because that makes sense... 'tearing at the seems'... You played yourself
     
  9. Loose Stitch

    Loose Stitch Meega Nala Kweesta!

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    ...Somebody else want to take this?

    I just resigned from the grammar police.
     
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  10. nubsy004

    nubsy004 LGFA Commissioner

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    I didn't plan to touch it. No clue where this man is going. Can someone provide a map for my lost friend, Trae Del Rey.
     
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  11. TIMBORULES

    TIMBORULES Are you about that Fifa life?

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    Aww some recognition thanks :)
     
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  12. Trae x8

    Trae x8 Well-Known Member

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    Im just fuckin around, bitetto is bad with grammar.
     
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